Suits, Limousines, and Tears: An Australian Rite of Passage

My first formal, and the tears that followed

I have three boys.
The year my eldest son reached Year 12, I experienced an Australian "formal" event for the first time.

Since my husband went through it himself, he understood it to some extent, even if the times were different 😁, but for me, everything was a first, and I reached the day without knowing how to prepare or what the schedule would be.
And even though it felt like those childhood days weren't that long ago, the moment I saw my grown-up son in a suit, escorting a girl and getting into a limousine, tears suddenly welled up in my eyes.

"He's grown up so much."

I wasn't the only one who felt that way; several other moms around me were also tearing up, so we looked at each other and laughed.

What kind of event is a semi-formal?

In the majority of Australian high schools, there is an event called a "semi-formal" when students reach Year 11.
This is a dance party hosted by the school, and it's like a "social debut" for the students. By the way, my eldest son didn't participate in a semi-formal, so the formal was his first experience.

Boys dress in suits and girls in dresses, and they attend with friends or partners.
There is an atmosphere that feels like taking a step into the adult world.

When you reach Year 12, it's finally time for the "formal"

And then, the year of Year 12, it's finally time for the "formal".
This is a grand party held as the conclusion of high school life, perhaps similar to a combination of a graduation ceremony and a farewell party in Japan. It is significantly more formal than a semi-formal, often held at luxurious venues like hotels, and the students dress up for the occasion.

Both semi-formals and formals are basically part of school events, and almost everyone participates. In most Australian high schools, these events are considered mandatory, and the Year 12 formal, in particular, is one of the major highlights of the final year of high school.

In the case of my children who attend an all-boys school, their partners are usually introduced by friends or are girlfriends from other schools. Therefore, at semi-formal or formal parties, they get to spend time with students from girls' schools. 😁
This seems to be a moment where students from all-boys schools feel a bit of a "special" sensation.

The same goes for the reverse. It is common to be invited to the semi-formals or formals of other schools, not just their own. This is a very happy event for the children, and being able to enjoy a party with students from schools they don't usually interact with is quite stimulating.
Being invited to a girls' school's semi-formal or formal is often felt as a status symbol, especially for boys' schools, so I was impressed by how everyone happily went about their preparations. They had a slightly proud look on their faces that they don't usually show, and as a parent, I watched over them feeling a mix of happiness and a little bit of nervousness.

You can only take photos at the pre-formal

For both events, everyone first gathers at someone's house for a home party called a "pre-formal".
This is where parents can finally capture photos of their children in their finery, and this is the only time. After that, it seems a world unknown to parents unfolds.

After that, a limousine or party bus comes to pick up the children, and they head off to the official venue.
Parents just see them off from the road. Then, it's a wait of several hours until it's time to pick them up (laughs).

There is a "post" after the formal

When the party at the venue ends, that doesn't mean it's over...
After that, there is a small gathering like an after-party called a "post." It's not mandatory, though.

This "post" is a time for friends, partners, and peers to spend time together, and it often lasts until late at night.
Parents often have to pick them up in the middle of the night, so it's hard to relax. But this is also an important part of their growth, isn't it?

When it came to my second child, I had a little more breathing room

It has already been four years since my second son's formal. It feels like it was just yesterday. 😭
Having experienced it once before, I was able to watch over him with a bit more composure.

Even so, when I saw him looking so dashing in his suit, heading out with such a happy expression, I felt both happy and a little sad.

And this year, it is the final formal for my third son.

This year, my third son is finally having his formal.
With this, the 'first chapter' of my parenting journey is coming to a close. ...Or is it?

As I watch each of my three sons grow, I feel that I, too, am gradually moving on to the next stage as a parent.

I don't know what paths the three of them will take from here, but I am looking forward to it.
And just a little bit, I feel lonely. 😭