【How to Reclaim Your True Feelings?】— 3 Steps to Gradually Let Go of the Habit of Searching for the 'Right Answer' —
Hello.
In this article, I will focus on the
【To You Who Cannot Answer 'What Do You Really Want?'】
theme I shared last time, specifically addressing the
**'habit of searching for the right answer'** that many people struggle with.
Choosing based on 'what I should do' rather than 'what I want to do'
Have you ever felt this way before?
I don't want to make a mistake
I don't want to stand out from the crowd
If there's a risk of failure, I'll choose the safe option
Even if you feel deep down that something is 'off,'
you end up choosing the 'seemingly correct' path.
And then, one day, you suddenly realize:
'What did I actually want to do?'
The habit of searching for the right answer was a 'safety device' for your heart
This habit doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.
Rather, it is proof that you have been protecting yourself to avoid getting hurt.
I have met the expectations of others
I have adapted to those around me
I have grown up as a 'good child'
By choosing the 'right answer' in that way, you created a place for yourself.
In a sense, that was also a form of kindness and love.
And during your childhood, it was also an important 'safety device.'
However, now that you are an adult, if that device keeps running...
What happens if it remains a 'safety device' even after you become an adult?
Essentially, becoming an adult means—
having your own feelings and thoughts, expressing them, and living independently.
But deep down, don't you still think like this?
I worry about what others think of me
I must not fail
Prioritizing 'what is right'
No matter how much you fill your days with 'correctness', if it deviates from your true feelings, your heart will gradually become exhausted.
You don't want to do it, but you can't say no
It's not how you really feel, but you smile anyway
Even when you make a choice, for some reason you don't feel fulfilled
That kind of 'thin, transparent sense of unease' will gradually cover your heart.
So, how can you reclaim your 'true feelings'?
It's okay not to try to stop 'searching for the correct answer' completely.
First, let's start by believing in 'what you are feeling' in small ways.
🌿 3 steps to let go of 'searching for the correct answer'
STEP 1 | Try allowing yourself to say 'I don't know'
Your true feelings aren't always clear from the start.
That is precisely why it is important to allow yourself to say, '**It's okay not to know.**'
For example...
'Maybe this job isn't for me'
'I feel kind of tired when I'm with that person'
When you feel that kind of 'discomfort', try looking at it first without denying it.
STEP 2 | Make time to 'ask yourself'
When you are deciding something, before listening to other people's opinions, take just one minute.
Try asking yourself this:
💬 'What do I really want to do?'
💬 'Do I want to do it? Or do I not want to do it?'
💬 'Is my heart moved right now?'
That small question creates a shift from an 'other-centered' to a 'self-centered' perspective.
STEP 3 | Choose 'Sense of Conviction' Over 'Correctness'
Someone else's 'correct answer' is not necessarily your 'happiness'.
What is important is
not 'whether it is correct,' but 'whether it feels right'
not 'whether it is correct,' but 'whether it feels right'.
Rather than how you are seen by others
Whether you can feel 'at ease' yourself
This is the first step to returning the helm of your life to 'your own hands'.
You can live without a correct answer
We have grown up in a 'world with correct answers' for a long time.
Test scores,
school rules,
the sense of security in being 'the same as everyone else.'
But now that we are adults,
there may be no 'correct answer' in life, only 'choices you can be convinced of'.
And that answer—
can only be seen when you truly listen to your heart.
✦ In closing
If, after reading this article,
'I feel a little relieved,'
'Maybe I'll try listening to my own feelings too,'
if you thought that,
I think you are already ready to listen to 'your own voice.'
There is no need to rush.
At your own pace,
let's begin the journey of reclaiming your 'true feelings'🕊️