Why choices made with a reason are less likely to lead to regret

── What is beauty

There are choices that, even if the result is slightly different from what you imagined after making them, you strangely do not dwell on.

It was not perfect.
There might have been something better.
I could have chosen differently.

Even so,

「I want to do it over」

does not remain strongly.

Here, there is one thing I would like to confirm.

Is this difference really a difference in the "result"?

In many cases, no.

This is adifference in the state at the time of choosing.

We tend to think like this.

I regret it because it didn't go well.
I don't regret it because I was satisfied.

Of course, that is also partially true.

However, in reality, even with similar results, there are choices that lead to regret and choices that are less likely to lead to regret.

Where does this difference lie?

If you change your perspective a little, you can see one common point.

Whether the reason remains.

Why did you choose that?
What did you prioritize?
What did you deliberately choose not to pick?

That line of reasoning has not been broken within yourself.

That is why, even if the result is slightly different from what was expected, the decision itself is hard to deny.

What is important here is that a reason is not meant to prove 'correctness'.

A reason is not just for explaining things to someone else to convince them.

In reality, it is something that supports your own judgment.

When your criteria are at work, a reason functions not as an excuse, but as a support.

Therefore, a choice made with a reason does not strongly insist on being correct.

It simply leaves you in a state where you can quietly say this:

“At that time, this was the right thing to do.”

Whether or not you can say these words.

This is where the difference in regret arises.

When you have this quiet place, even if the choice becomes a thing of the past, it is less likely to become fuel for self-blame.

The version of me at that time was not just failing to think about things.
I was not just being swayed by someone else.
I did not just choose it randomly.

I truly chose it based on the criteria I had at that time.

I can think that.

Having less regret does not mean there were no failures.

It is a state of having taken ownership of your judgment.

It is not because the result was perfect, but because you have accepted that judgment as your own.

That is why, even if things are a little different, you do not fall apart.

Once you reach this point, a single difference becomes clear.

What is important is not simply whether or not there is a reason.

It is about where you take responsibility for the decision.

Even if there is a reason, if that reason remains someone else's words, you will waver later on.

Because it was highly rated.
Because someone recommended it.
Because it seemed unlikely to fail.
Because many people chose it.

These do count as reasons.

However, if you have not taken ownership of them yourself, they are unlikely to serve as support.

When the result deviates even slightly,

“Was I wrong after all?”
“Should I have researched more?”
“Should I have looked at someone else's opinion?”

And so, the judgment flows outward again.

In other words, a choice that is less likely to lead to regret is not one where reasons are simply lined up.

It is a choice where the reasons have been brought back within yourself.

Why did I choose this?
Why will I not compare any further?
Why can I accept it under these conditions?

When it is connected within you to that extent, even if the result wavers slightly, the judgment itself will not easily collapse.

However, in reality, many people stop here.

There is a reason.
I am convinced.
I have all the information.

Even so, I cannot fully decide.

Or, even after deciding, my thinking does not stop.

Even though I chose it, I am still thinking about other possibilities.
Even though I was convinced, I am comparing again.
Even though there should be a reason, somewhere in my heart, it is not over.

From this point on, the stage changes slightly.

It is no longer a problem of insufficient information.

It is not a problem of the quantity of reasons either.

We are past the stage where simply providing more explanations will solve the problem.

There is a reason.
There is also conviction.
Even so, only the decision remains.

This is that state.

Once you reach this point, knowing 'why you chose it' is not enough.

What is needed is

where to draw the line

a perspective on that.

Decision-making does not end with just gathering reasons.

It does not end with just being convinced, either.

Finally, you must take responsibility for those reasons yourself and draw a line.

I have looked this far.
I have thought this far.
With this reason, I can accept the outcome even if it goes wrong.

At the point where you can think that, the decision finally becomes your own.

A choice is not determined by whether it was correct or not.

In the end, it is determined bywhether you can take ownership of itor not.

A choice you have taken ownership of is less likely to turn into regret, even if it is slightly off.

A choice you have not taken ownership of will continue to waver later, no matter how correct it may be.

This difference may seem very small.

However, in daily life, it becomes a significant gap.

Can you remain calm after choosing?
Can you avoid looking back repeatedly?
Can you avoid being swallowed by other possibilities?
Can you say, 'At that time, this was the right thing to do'?

That is where the strength of a choice with a reason lies.

However, there is an even deeper layer to this story.

Why is it that even when there is a reason, we still cannot decide?

Why is it that even when we are convinced, the act of judging remains?

Why does the sense of having judged for oneself fade the more we receive a correct explanation?

What we should be asking here is not about the pros and cons of the options.

At what point does the judgment slip out of our own hands?

This is the question.

I have organized that structure even more deeply here.

▶︎ Where is judgment taken away? Redesigning 'thinking' in the AI era
※https://note.com/fit_raven8619/n/nda2cc8a4bd11

In this article, I delve into the reasons why we cannot decide, not as a problem of lack of information or indecisiveness, but from the perspective of where understanding and judgment mix, and where the locus of judgment shifts to the outside.

In an era where AI prepares answers for us, reasons are available in abundance.

Merits, demerits, comparisons, counterarguments, and exceptions are all lined up immediately.

Yet, there are still times when we cannot decide.

That may not be because of a lack of understanding, but because the position of judgment has become ambiguous.

I thought about it.
I understood it.
I was convinced.

But the feeling of having judged for myself is the only thing that does not remain.

Once you know the true nature of that discomfort, I think that choices with reasons, choices that are less likely to lead to regret, and the act of taking back one's judgment will all appear connected in a single line.

Choosing is not an act of guessing the correct answer.

It is an act of deciding where to take back your own judgment.

As long as that position remains ambiguous, hesitation will return again and again, even with similar choices.

That is precisely why you should not stop at just gathering reasons.

Ask yourself one final question.

Is this a decision I can take responsibility for?

When you can answer that question, I believe what remains after the choice is not regret, but peace of mind.