Squid.

It looks like it's smiling
I make eye contact with a half-price squid
8:00 PM

Good evening, Mr. Squid.
Half-price, are you?
How tempting.
Would you like to get in my basket?
...Ah,
though, there is one drawback.
Just you alone is a bit...
There are four of us in my family.
If I cut you into rings,
that would be two pieces each, I suppose.
And a quarter of the tentacles each.

That would make for a rather bleak dinner table.
If only there were one more half-price friend...
But there isn't.
The others still have bright, alert eyes.
They won't be marked down to half-price.
Still, why are your eyes half-closed and looking upward?
Thanks to that, you look like you're smiling.
You look like that person from 'Furuhata Ninzaburo' who was killed just as they were about to take off the stocking they had pulled over their head.
I wouldn't want to die like that.
It's as bad as having a photo where everyone else looks cute, but you're the only one with half-closed eyes.
And it's even worse because you're smiling in that kind of situation.
It makes for a face that is the height of absurdity.
Oh, Mr. Squid.
There's something like a tear in the corner of your eye...
Are you crying?
I'm sorry.
Did you not want me to mention your half-closed eyes?
Was it against your will that your final moments had such an expression?
I suppose so.
No one gets to choose their death mask, do they?
I'm sorry.
Don't cry. As an apology, let's go home together.
Even if it's just you, if I simmer you with daikon radish and konjac, it should stretch the meal.
Come now...
Oh.
Oh my.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Ma'am, you're quick to decide.
Are you taking that one home?
Will it be enough?
Could it be that you live with just your husband?
If so, that would be four rings each, and half the tentacles each, wouldn't it?
That's nice~.
Ah, so fast.
Already so far away.
Please, please cut him gently.
And please lay his eyes to rest softly at the end.
If possible, please fry him.
I feel like he would be happier that way.
How about it?

*********************************************

April 1st (Wed)
It's April Fool's Day.
This is a delusion.
I thought that on a day like today, such a delusional story might be forgiven, so I wrote it.
Have a good day, everyone.

*********************************************

#WhatAreYouTalkingAbout

Konishi Kinoko-san.
Please collect this 🦑