The Last Call

Two days after I had a premonition that 'it's about time for a call,' my smartphone rang. Even though I thought I was fully prepared, when I saw the name 'Mei' on the screen, I couldn't press the call button immediately because I knew this would be our last phone call.

“Hello? Taku-chan?” Her voice was nasal and laid-back. She must have been crying until just a moment ago. I could tell she was bracing herself, making her voice a tone brighter than usual. She didn't have to force herself.

“What’s up?” I held the phone between my shoulder and my right ear while I continued packing. If I wasn't doing something, I felt like my emotions would accidentally spill out. Was Mei in a car? There was no sound in the background. I could somehow tell she was talking from a small, solitary space.

“I’ve started feeling nervous and anxious.”

The day after tomorrow, Mei is getting married. The person she’s marrying is my colleague. If it’s him, he will definitely make Mei happy. I was the one who introduced them, thinking exactly that. To anyone, they look like a perfect couple.

“That’s just what they call marriage blues.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”

The conversation lapsed, and I didn't know what to say. Still, I didn't force a topic to fill the silence. We weren't the kind of relationship where we had to be that careful with each other.

“Say something.”
“Why should I? You’re the one who called me.”

Ever since I could remember, Mei had always been by my side. She lived three houses down, was an only child, had big round eyes, was selfish, and cried easily. After Mei’s father passed away when we were in the sixth grade, I felt like her older brother, thinking, 'I have to protect her.'

People around us teased us constantly, asking if we liked each other, if we were interested, or if it was love, but our feelings never pointed toward each other. Or rather, I took the utmost care to ensure they didn't. If it started, it would eventually end, and I didn't think I was the one who could make her the happiest. There are plenty of people in the world better than me.

I wanted to listen to Mei when she was going through a hard time. I wanted to rush over and support her if anything happened. But once you become lovers, that’s it. When the relationship ends, I might not be able to do that anymore. That was what I feared most. So, I was cautious, always measuring the distance as I interacted with Mei. I made sure my feelings didn't lean too much toward her, and that her feelings didn't lean toward me.

“Taku-chan. Have you ever thought you liked me?” Contrary to her teasing tone, I could sense the tremor in Mei’s small voice. I probably wouldn't have noticed if it weren't me.

“Nah. You’re not my type.”

I tried saying it with a laugh, but perhaps my true feelings were being conveyed to Mei just the same.

“I’ll make this our last call today.” Pretending not to notice her voice, which sounded like she was about to cry, I said brightly, “You’ll have Takayuki from now on, so you’ll be fine.”

“Congratulations on your marriage.”
“Yeah.”

When I shifted my gaze to the window, a light winter rain had begun to fall from the thick clouds. The brown leaves dropped by the wind were piling up on the asphalt. The street trees in front of me were bare and lonely, but if you went into the city, the trees would surely be gorgeous with illuminations.

“Well then, see ya.”
“See ya.”

A phrase we had said to each other hundreds of times since we were little. But there was no 'see you later' to follow it. The moment I pressed the red button to end the call, I buried my face in my pillow. Deeply, deeply. So that the scream of my heart, which had overflowed, wouldn't shake the air and reach her eardrums. So that not even a small sound would leak out.

[1411 characters] I participated in #MonokaKingdom2024, hosted by Kotoba to Koukoku. The theme is 'Voice.' The deadline for submissions is December 15th. Why don't you all participate too?