[Age 3 to Present] The Magic Signs I Invented with My Non-Verbal Son

It has already been a year since my eldest son turned three and started attending developmental support.

In this post, I will talk about the things he has become able to do, which have increased dramatically over the past year, and the new form of communication we invented as parent and child.

■ Progress Report for the First Year of Developmental Support

First, let me report on his growth over this past year in bullet points. For me, knowing how indifferent and unresponsive he was a year ago, these are a series of unbelievable changes.

・He started making eye contact (this makes me the happiest!)
・He started turning around when called by name (he used to be unresponsive)
・He started being able to wait for his turn on things like the slide (social skills have sprouted)
・He started becoming aware of his younger brother and the cat, and began touching them on his own

・He can now point when asked, "Where is the Hayabusa?" or "Where is the apple?"
However, this pointing is not something he does spontaneously; it is in response to our questions when we show him books or similar items.
Furthermore, this is just my guess, but I don't think my eldest son understands the apple itself; I think he remembers the apple on that specific page of that book as an image.
Therefore, he cannot understand when I show him a real apple. Right now, I am showing him as many different apples as possible and letting him touch them.

And above all, the biggest thing was his partial departure (evolution) from the hand-leading phenomenon.

■ Mom and Dad's hands are not your own hands

When my non-verbal eldest son wanted something done, he was in the prime of the "hand-leading phenomenon," where he would grab my wife's or my hand and pull us firmly.

For example, when he wanted to eat a snack.
He would silently pull my hand, lead me to the snack shelf, and try to make my hand reach for the bag.

This way, Dad remains nothing more than a convenient tool.

So, I decided to create a new rule.

■ The rhythm of "O-pen-it"

When he pulled my hand, I intentionally stopped moving and said this to him:

"Let's take this to Mom together!"

I would take the snack, hand it to my eldest son, hold his hand, go to my wife, hand the snack bag to her, and have him tap the bag three times, tap-tap-tap.

It is the three-syllable rhythm of "O-pen-it".

I only taught him this two or three times.
However, his ability to absorb it was incredible.
From then on, whenever he wanted a snack,

He would go get the snack himself
→ hand the bag to my wife (or me)
→ tap the bag three times, tap-tap-tap

He began to perform this entire sequence of actions perfectly on his own.

Furthermore, he started bringing not just snacks, but anything he wanted opened and tapping it three times!

In technical terms, this is apparently called "generalization."

It means he was able to think for himself and apply the rule, reasoning that "if it opens snacks, it should open B as well."

■ The Value of a Language Only Our Family Understands

As his parents, even though our eldest son cannot speak, we can understand most of what he wants to say just by looking at his mood and gaze.

It is what you call a perfect rapport.

However, once we step outside, his intentions are not conveyed to others.

Even with the crane phenomenon, if he suddenly pulled a stranger's hand, they would be surprised, and in the first place, he wouldn't pull a stranger's hand.

That is precisely why this act of tapping three times was so important.

Even if it is like a dialect that only our family understands, I was happier than anything that he took the first step in communication by reaching out to others and conveying his intentions.

■ Where We Are Now and What Comes Next

He is now 3 years and 9 months old. He still has no words (vocalizations).
As I wrote in my first post, he tries to solve everything with an "Ah!"

However, he thinks in his own way, taps the bag three times, and tries desperately to convey his message to us.
Even without the tool of language, it is possible to connect hearts.
It was undoubtedly my son who taught me that.

--Now, I have written a rough record of my eldest son's growth from [Age 0 to Present].

Thank you so much for reading.

I hope that something I share will reach others in similar situations, and I also hope to learn a little from what others have put into practice.

From the next post onwards, I hope to write in more detail about specific events and also cover other topics (such as my second son's growth, stories about our cat, and smartphone-related topics).