It is not that I can speak English, it is that I can only speak English

Hello, I am Kyaharin. I am between my junior and senior years of university in the United States.

This summer (summer 2024), I am doing a 10-week internship in the town of Madurai in South India.

This is my first time staying in a non-English speaking land for a purpose other than tourism.

India is a multi-ethnic nation where it is said that the language and food change every few dozen kilometers, but in Madurai, Tamil is the mainstream language.

With most people, simple English works, but exaggerated gestures are essential.

Spending time in this environment, I have had some thoughts. It is a sense of reflection on my recent self, who had been 'overconfident' in English.

In fact, being able to use English is powerful. Because I could speak English reasonably well, I was able to enter a US university, interact with various people regardless of nationality, and successfully finish my junior year.

However, I think this experience led to an arrogant attitude that it is fine to just brandish English, the 'global common language'.

The first time I clearly realized that arrogance was during winter break of my junior year, at a cafe in Madrid.

Thinking that English would be understood since it was near a tourist spot, I ordered churros in English, but the staff member responded in Spanish regarding things like the type of sauce.

Although Spanish words are similar to English, verb conjugations are complex. Therefore, even though I could understand what was being said, I could not form short sentences to speak.

In the end, I finished the entire conversation in English, and the staff member in Spanish.

I don't know if the staff member was in the same situation as me. However, it is a fact that I could feel a sense of pride in them 'continuing to speak in Spanish'.

At this time, I realized the obvious fact that 'my English ability only gains value when there is a partner who understands or uses English'.

Now, living in Madurai, India, I feel even more grateful that the people I meet try to understand or use English.

This is because Madurai is not a tourist destination, and there are many people who will live their entire lives without ever leaving this region.

In my internship project, I often talk to nurses, but,

it only works because there is a mentor close to my age who acts as an interpreter, even though they were not asked to do so.

Every day, I am made to realize that 'it is not that I can speak English, it is that I can only speak English'.

It might just be self-satisfaction, but when I go outside the English-speaking world, I first try to greet people in the local language (or at least try to).

And so, I try to show an attitude of, "I can only speak Japanese or English, so please forgive me for using English."

When I see people using their full mental capacity to communicate with me in English,

I feel a sense of gratitude, and also a touch of nostalgia as I see myself right after I moved to the U.S.

There are often times when I feel frustrated due to unexpected misunderstandings, mishearings, or missing information,

but when I think that my friends must have also adjusted their pace and watched over me right after I moved to the U.S.,

I feel that I, too, must not give up easily and must continue to show my willingness to communicate.

If a translation konjac really existed, I would buy it in an instant.