Aphorism Series: The Loss of a Parent

People rarely reveal their true selves; perhaps only in the loss of a parent.

1. Reading: Hito imada mizukara itasu mono arazu, kanarazuya oya no moka

2. Meaning:

This is an aphorism meaning, 'People rarely reveal their true feelings or inner selves completely in daily life, but only when faced with the profound grief of a parent's death do their genuine, unfeigned emotions naturally emerge.' While people usually suppress their emotions due to social norms and reason, in the extreme situation of losing a parent, 'sincerity' (makoto) that transcends interests and formalities spontaneously appears. Against the backdrop of Confucian 'filial piety' and 'sincerity,' this teaching offers a sharp insight into the depth of the parent-child bond and the essence of humanity.

3. Source: The Analects of Confucius, Zizhang 19:17

Compiled from around the 5th century BC to the Warring States period. It records the teachings of Confucius (551–479 BC) as heard and passed down by his disciple, Zengzi (c. 505–435 BC).

4. Original Text and Personal Translation

曾子曰：「吾聞諸夫子，人未有自致者也，必也親喪乎。」
Zēngzǐ yuē: Wú wén zhū fūzǐ, rén wèi yǒu zì zhì zhě yě, bì yě qīn sàng hū.

Zengzi said, 'I heard this from the Master: People rarely express their true selves spontaneously. Perhaps this only happens during the mourning of a parent.'

Zengzi said: 'I heard this from Master Confucius: "People rarely express their true feelings spontaneously and to the fullest extent. This would likely only occur in the event of a parent's death."'"

Commentary:
'Jichi' (self-expression) refers to expressing one's emotions or true nature to the extreme and completely revealing one's inner self. Against the backdrop of Confucian 'filial piety' and 'sincerity,' this emphasizes that the profound grief of a parent's death transcends social inhibition and pretense, bringing forth the purest humanity born from the absolute depth of the parent-child bond.