Your way of feeling is one of a kind in the world

Hello, I'm Kikuno, the school nurse.
Thank you for choosing to read this among so many other posts.

The way people feel things is truly different for everyone, isn't it?
Even when seeing or hearing the same event, the scenery that unfolds in our hearts can be completely different.

I had an experience this morning during breakfast that made me suddenly recall such "differences in feeling." When I was at the table with my child and husband, my child said, "I saw something gross in a video yesterday."

(There will be a bit of talk about frog ecology after this. If you are sensitive to this, please skip ahead to the next heading.)

What my child saw was a video of a certain frog that carries fertilized eggs on its back until they hatch. Apparently, there was a scene where the male climbs onto the female's back and pushes the eggs in, and I was asked repeatedly, "Isn't that gross?"

I am the type who visualizes words in my head. When I replied, "Wow, that's impossible... just imagining how they push them in gives me the creeps," my child agreed, saying, "Right? It's gross, isn't it?"

When I said to my husband, who was silently continuing his meal, "Sorry for talking about this while we're eating," he looked puzzled and said, "I'm fine with it."

When I asked, "Why are you fine with it?"

"Because I know the ecology of that frog. I just think that carrying them on their back is safe and that's how they hatch."

He replied calmly.

When I asked if he didn't feel gross imagining it,

"That's just their ecology, so it can't be helped, right?"

He said. He seemed to find us, who were making such a fuss, more strange.

■ Returning to the usual topic from here

Even when hearing the same story, there are people who feel it's "gross" and people who accept it as "that's just how it is." It was an event that seemed obvious, yet surprised me all over again.

I have been married to my husband for 20 years. When we first met, I thought, "Our ways of thinking are similar."

But if you ask our child,

"Mom and Dad are so different, you could say they're polar opposites, right?"

That's what they said. Yes, we had been under the impression that we were "similar types."

Every person has different feelings and ways of thinking. Even when experiencing the same event, the way it is received is truly different for everyone.

Just as 100 people have 100 different experiences, 100 people have 100 different ways of feeling and perceiving things.

I believe this is an unchanging fact, even among family members or those who have lived together for a long time.

■ "They don't understand me" happens because we are different people

That is precisely why, when you convey something to someone, if you speak under the assumption that "this person must feel the same way I do," it may not be communicated effectively.

"Why don't you understand?" We all have moments like that, don't we?

But if our ways of feeling are so different, perhaps it is only natural that things don't get across exactly as we intended.

It is not that the other person is wrong, nor that you are wrong; it is simply that you are "different people."

When you can remember that, I feel like you can relax your shoulders just a little bit.

■ If your conversation with someone crosses wires today

"This person and I are different people, after all."

Try to gently remind yourself of that.

That is kindness to the other person, and to yourself. That single breath should make your heart feel a little lighter.

Your way of feeling is your own. It is not wrong, and you do not need to accept everyone else's way of feeling entirely.

You are fine just the way you are.

Thank you for reading until the end.
I am very, very happy.

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