“Why can they do it but I can't...” Comparing yourself to others. A perspective to ease the “pain of comparison.”
“You don't have to blame yourself for being lazy.”
“The reason you can't move is just because your brain is making it that way.”
That is what I told you last time.
And I shared how to cultivate a “self that can move a little bit” using small systems.
However, even when you start moving a little, aren't there some people who suddenly find these thoughts popping up?
“That person is working so hard, but I can't do it...”
“Why is that person doing so well, while I can't even get moving...”
“Feeling down because you compare yourself to someone else.”
Are you being swallowed up by those feelings?
🔶Conclusion
Feeling down because you compare yourself to others is neither “bad” nor a sign of “weakness.”
It is simply a state where you are “not looking at yourself properly.”
🔎Reason
We are instinctively built to compare ourselves with those “around us.”
This is because our brains have a mechanism that uses others as a benchmark to “confirm our own place.”
In other words, comparing is natural.
However, if your “way of comparing” is wrong, you will start to see things through a “lens that makes you look inadequate.”
For example...
Looking only at others' achievements → Your own slowness stands out
Judging by others' pace → You look like someone who is “falling short”
Comparing others' strengths with your own weaknesses → Your confidence disappears even more
These habits of comparison are simplydistorting the view of your own value.
📌Example
I have experienced this many times myself.
“We started at the same time, but they already have over 1,000 followers...”
“Why am I still a ‘nobody’...”
Comparing my own progress to ‘someone else's results’ like that, feeling impatient, spinning my wheels, and then stopping again...
But one day, I realized that just by ‘changing who I compare myself to,’ my feelings suddenly became lighter.
💡Solution
Instead of ‘comparing yourself to others,’ cultivate the perspective of comparing yourself to ‘the you of yesterday.’
That is the first step toward restoring your confidence.
✅Concrete Measures | 5 Ways to Escape ‘Comparison Fatigue’
① Try keeping a ‘personal timeline’
→ Visualize your ‘own unique journey’ rather than someone else's speed
→ Example: ‘I woke up earlier than a week ago,’ ‘My anxiety is less than last month’
② Decide on ‘time to distance yourself’ from social media and achievement posts
→ For social media, which unconsciously fuels comparison,it is faster to recover if you intentionally create time to not look at it
③ ‘When you want to compare, write down your feelings’
→ Before you get down on yourself from comparing, ask, ‘How do I feel right now? What am I anxious about?’ andacknowledge your own voice first
④ Convert others' strengths into ‘inspiration’
→ Rewrite your mindset to ‘use differences as a reference,’ changing ‘They are amazing’ to ‘Maybe I should try something too’
⑤ Write down ‘one thing I’m glad I’m me’ once a day
→ To neutralize the poison of comparison,the habit of noticing ‘your own unique merits’ yourselfis the most effective
🌈Affirmation
🌟 ‘I am fine with my own pace’
🌟 ‘My rhythm is my own’
🌟 ‘The urge to compare is just the flip side of wanting to grow’
🌟 ‘I can acknowledge myself for having moved forward by one millimeter since yesterday’
📢 Next Episode Preview
Even when you start to value your own pace little by little,
don't you sometimes feel like you're about to be crushed by the
“weight of obligation,” thinking, “I still have to do it…”?
Next time, we will share ways to break free from the “feeling of being crushed by ‘I have to do it.’”