The value I realized only after getting injured.

September 2024. I suffered a major knee injury.

When I got injured, the pain wasn't the hardest part.

Not being able to play rugby.

I remember that being more painful than anything else.

That injury was by no means a small thing for me.

My condition was good, and it was just at the moment when things were about to take off.

That's why, the moment I got injured, the first thing that came to my mind was,

"Why did I have to get a major injury at a time like this?"

I was incredibly frustrated. They say luck is part of ability.

That's why,

"Maybe I'm just not lucky."

Such weak thoughts crossed my mind.

Honestly, I was quite depressed for several days.

I didn't have the luxury of thinking about the future, and I just spent time unable to accept reality.

Just then, the season began.

At that time, the hardest part was watching the games.

Seeing my teammates fighting with all their might.

Seeing the team grow.

I wasn't in the place where I should have been standing on the same pitch fighting.

Moreover, that season, the team was in great form and had much better results than the previous year.

I should have been happy.

I was truly happy.

But at the same time, I was frustrated.

It was painful that I wasn't there.

"Maybe this team doesn't need me."

I even started thinking things like that.

It was the same with my rivals' success.

Seeing them succeed gives me motivation, and I feel proud as a teammate.

But on the other hand, I also felt strong frustration.

There was a part of me that couldn't be genuinely happy, and I was sometimes angry at myself for that.

Looking back now, maybe those were natural emotions.

But at the time, it was painful even to acknowledge those feelings.

And gradually, I even lost sight of my own reason for existing.

Does a me who can't play rugby have any value?

Does a me who can't produce results as a player have any meaning?

It wasn't just once or twice that the word 'retirement' crossed my mind.

I think that shows how strongly I had tied my value to rugby.

However, during that time, there were things I was made to realize.

That is, I was supported and loved by more people than I had imagined.

My wife, who supports me devotedly at home no matter what.

My family, who always cares about me.

My friends, who stay by my side as always.

My teammates, who give me stimulation and warmth both on and off the pitch.

And the presence of the Rams family, who give me strength in any situation.

Only after getting injured did I realize how blessed an environment I am in.

That is by no means something to be taken for granted.

Because it was a difficult time, I felt that gratitude deeply in my heart.

And that presence made me look forward again and again.

Actually, I have a somewhat delicate and fragile side to my mentality.

So I often overthink things and sometimes worry too much about how others see me or evaluate me.

It's also common for me to zone out when I'm thinking about one thing, and before I know it, a lot of time has passed.

I realized deeply that the reason I am able to play like this even now is truly thanks to everyone around me.

An injury is by no means a good experience.

If I could, I would never want to do it again.

Even so, looking back now, there is a view I saw precisely because I had that time.

I was able to face not just myself as a rugby player, but myself as a human being.

If I could tell my past self at the time of the injury just one thing, I would want to say this.

"Even if you aren't Yuta Kurihara when he's playing rugby, you are loved enough. So have confidence."

And one more thing.

"This is a chance to grow even more as a person."

There is always an end to an athletic career.

But the end of rugby and the end of my value are not the same thing.

Through the injury, I was able to understand that little by little.

I think that time was painful even now.

But there are things I realized precisely because of that pain.

Not just as a rugby player, but as a human being.

Being able to think that way is undoubtedly a great asset for me.

Thank you for reading this week as well.
I hope to continue writing in my own natural way, so I would be happy if you came to read again!