You worry because you are serious.

"You have a strong mentality."

As an athlete, I sometimes hear those words.

Of course, I am happy to hear them.

But every time I do, I feel a slight sense of discomfort.

I am by no means a person with a strong mentality.

Even now, I get nervous before important matches.

I naturally feel pressure during matches I haven't played in a while or matches I absolutely cannot lose.

However, once the match starts, I have no choice but to do what I can in that moment.

That is why what I value is not the day of the match, but the preparation leading up to it.

How much preparation have I done?

With what kind of mindset can I face the day?

I believe those are parts I can control myself.

But I think I was only able to start thinking that way because I have worried so much.

The time I was mentally at my lowest was during my fourth year of university.

It was my final season, which I entered in the position of captain.

I got injured in early spring and couldn't commit to the team as I had hoped.

Out of impatience, I returned earlier than planned, but the pain remained and my performance didn't improve.

I wanted to lead the team as captain.

But as a player, I couldn't produce results.

I didn't even know how I should lead the team anymore.

I had absolutely no confidence in myself as a player or as a captain.

The results didn't follow as I had hoped, and that year was truly painful for both my heart and body.

But there is an experience even before that which I cannot forget.

It was when I was a second-year high school student.

At the time, I was playing fly-half.

The fly-half position at Toin Gakuen is one that demands not just skills, but also a thorough understanding of rugby and decision-making ability.

For me, who had mostly played based on physicality and intuition until then, that time was truly painful.

I hit a wall almost every day.

I was afraid of the reactions of those around me if I made a mistake.

"Why am I the only one who can't do it?"

I was only thinking about things like that.

Honestly, I wanted to run away every day.

In the end, the team couldn't break through the prefectural qualifiers for the first time in nine years, and for me, it was a year where everything went wrong.

Looking back now, I think I had lost my confidence many times even before becoming a professional.

Therefore, it is not the case that "I have a strong mentality because I am a professional athlete."

I get anxious too.

I lose confidence too.

There are times when I want to run away.

Even so, the reason I have been able to move forward little by little is because of those experiences back then.

At the time, I didn't think I had overcome them.

But looking back, those experiences support who I am today.

Because I have experienced worrying, I can imagine how others feel.

Because I have experienced pain, I can hold on.

Because I have experienced failure, I know the importance of preparation.

That is why I think this now.

A person with a strong mentality is not someone who has no anxiety.

I believe it is someone who can calmly accept whatever happens and move forward according to the situation.

And if I could speak to my younger self, this is what I would want to say.

"You worry because you are serious."

You are in pain precisely because you are facing it seriously.

You feel anxious precisely because you seriously want to win.

You worry because you seriously want to make things better.

So, you don't have to blame yourself for worrying.

That experience will surely support you in the future.

And there is one more thing I want to tell you.

When you are worried, please don't keep it all to yourself.

It can be your family, your teammates, or your friends.

Just by talking to someone, your heart will feel a little lighter.

I couldn't have come this far alone either.

So, I want to tell those who are worrying now.

Worrying is not a weakness.

It is proof that you are living seriously.

I believe that those worries will surely become your own unique weapon someday.