Even though I thought I had abandoned the desire to 'become someone'

Fourth year of technical college. 19 years old.
I made a firm resolution to aim to become a lawyer.

I wanted to 'become someone'.

After that, I changed jobs to a startup and experienced a period of rapid growth at what could be called the closest company to an IPO. There were many 'someones' around me.

The 'someones' around me were all cool, and I admired them.
But I couldn't bring myself to want to be them, so I returned to my hometown of Okayama to start over from zero. I began a life of adding only things that move my heart, things I believe are right, things I believe are good, and things I believe are beautiful to my life.

Now, because I want to do something about the fact that works keep disappearing,
"Create 'one more work' that should have been born." Shiroshi Inc.I am

In order to answer the question 'Can't I be happy if I don't go to school?' head-on,"Create and deliver good education." Ichijiku Inc.I am

To drink good sake with entrepreneurs even 10 years from now, Setouchi VCI am

creating, adding one to zero.

I also achieved thecommercial publicationI had wanted to fulfill for a long time, and now I spend my days thinking intently about my favorite, HUNTER×HUNTER.

The me who wanted to become someone is no longer here.
That's what I thought.

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The other day, I participated in IVS, one of the largest startup events in Japan.
Over 10,000 startup-related people attended, and the sessions were incredibly impressive.

I was able to meet people I hadn't seen in a while and had some new, interesting encounters, so I really enjoyed myself.

However, I felt uncontrollably uneasy, and for the week after IVS ended, I stayed holed up and barely met anyone.

And so, I've finally figured out what was bothering me, which is why I'm writing this note.
So, to jump straight to the conclusion,

"Who are you?"

I think I felt uncontrollably uneasy about that kind of communication—or more specifically, about becoming a "someone" stripped down to be easily conveyed, and the need to judge whether the other person is a "someone" or not.

No, of course I understand that it's natural given the nature of self-introductions. Becoming a "someone" who is catchy and allows for further conversation. I know that it's rational to expect the same from the other person.

Since I am an adult, I am capable of behaving that way. By introducing myself as 'I'm building an independent VC,' I can act as if I am 'someone'.

But in the end, that forces you to become an even more, even more, even more... an endlessly greater 'someone' that more people know, that creates even greater social value.
No, to be precise, you start to wish for yourself to become that way. It doesn't happen after 10 or 20 times, but as I introduced myself 100, 200, 300 times, I felt the desire to 'become someone,' which I thought I had abandoned, rising to the surface.

I'm not saying that wanting to 'become someone' is a bad thing. In a place like IVS, it might even be like healthy gasoline. I know that there are things that can be achieved by strongly wanting to 'become someone,' even if it's rude in a way, sloppy in a way, or arrogant in a way.

What I hate the most is,

that by wishing to become more, more, and more of 'someone,' each business or thing I started because I truly believed it was good from the bottom of my heart ends up feeling like something insufficient and worthless.

And that I end up evaluating the person in front of me in the same way.

I was horrified at myself for thinking, 'I wish it had more impact.' It's not that having a larger scale or influence is bad, but that I thought that way in order to become 'someone'.

I was stunned at myself for thinking, '(Hmm, but not even ◯ people are using that)' during someone else's self-introduction. I was stunned because there are many important things that are different from economic efficiency or effectiveness, and even though I want to live by valuing those things, I still thought that.

A business that I started purely for someone else was reduced to a tool for me to become 'someone'.
I used the precious thoughts of the person in front of me to evaluate them as 'someone'.

...I think it was a good opportunity.
I, who usually say 'There's nothing to gain by becoming someone' and 'Aiming to be someone is empty,' so easily became 'I want to become someone!!!'Perhaps that just shows the magical power that the desire to 'become someone' has, which people can't help but seek.

When choosing something, am I choosing it because I want to become 'someone,' or because I think it is good or beautiful? I don't think there is a right answer to either.

But I, and only I, know which one I am choosing with. I don't need to tell anyone, but that is very important.
I was finally able to realize that.

People who think, 'I want to become someone.'
People who think, 'I don't want to become someone at all anymore.'

I would like to talk to both types of people again now.