Between Sound and Memory: A Record of Soliloquies 10 | Wherever You Are, You Are Here

As the signs of winter deepen, the depths of my chest ache slightly.

Exactly 45 years ago, on December 8, 1980,
John Lennon was shot to death.

Every year when this season arrives, the version of myself from that day quietly appears.

The winter of my second year in high school.

Sendai that day was colder than usual,
and when I went outside, my breath stretched out long and white.
It was a quiet cold,
the kind that makes your fingertips ache even through gloves.

I finished my final exams and returned home early,
turning on the television as I always did.
At that moment, I felt as if the room's temperature had dropped a notch.

John Lennon dead—

The announcer's voice was detached,
but the words alone fell sharply into the depths of my chest.

It wasn't so intense that I would call it confusion,
nor was I composed enough to cry.

It was simply a sensation that something inside me had stopped meshing correctly.

The exam results I had been worrying about just moments ago,
and the lingering echoes of chatting with friends—everything dissipated.
Reality felt further away, while the news felt closer.

No, this can't be real; I can't grasp it.

I crouched down in front of my record shelf,
and as if tracing the trajectory of John's voice,
I dropped the needle, moving from The Beatles to his solo work.

Forgetting that I was in the middle of exam season, I just kept listening.
Rather than 'confirming' the news,
I was searching for a tactile sense to somehow anchor myself to reality.

Before I knew it, it was late at night.
The soft intro of 'Mind Games' played,
as if gently lighting a lamp in the darkness of the room.

“Love is the answer”—

Finally, the tears began to overflow.

The 'reality' that had been so far away
suddenly descended right before my eyes.
Ah, John is gone, I realized.

The next day, the television was filled with news about John.
Among them, there was a program that played 'Yesterday' over memorial footage.
It was only for a few seconds, but I frowned slightly.

“Just playing The Beatles isn't enough!”

It was also the moment I first felt
the shallowness of the mass media.

December 8th. I drop the needle again today.
I want to start with 'You Are Here'...

“Wherever you are, you are here.”
Wherever you are, you are here.

📎 It will be easier to understand if you also read my past 'articles written about my love for The Beatles'. ▼

📘 Click here for the series magazine

✒ Click here for the introductory guide

The starting point of work and memory behind this text is
summarized here.