The day I couldn't let go of my 'ideals', I almost broke down

I had envisioned an ideal life and thought I was working hard to achieve it.
But when days of things not going well continued, I would suddenly stop and wonder—
“Am I wrong for not being able to let go of my ideals?”

“Why is it so painful?”

At night, after putting the children to bed.
The kitchen sink is piled high with dishes.
The things I had planned to do were not finished at all,
and I just stood there, frozen.
Oh, I couldn't do it again today.

I am the type of person who likes to have ideals.
I want to wake up at 5:30 AM, and have breakfast with carbohydrates, protein, vegetables, and fruit.
I want to work efficiently and get results,
and after coming home, I want to play with my children, have a relaxing bath, and read them a picture book before they sleep.
That was the kind of life I was aiming for.

But reality was different.

Mornings where I turned off the alarm and overslept.
After coming home, a fight between my children would break out while I was preparing dinner,
and even after putting my own needs aside and finally getting them to sleep,
there was a mountain of housework waiting.

Why can't I do things the way I ideally want to?
I used to be able to do more before.
The more I thought about it, the more disappointed in myself I became every day.

But that wasn't because I had become a failure.

As a mother, as a wife, as a working professional.
I have so many things to do right now that it's more than just playing three roles.

Yet, if I blamed myself for “not being able to do as much as before,” it was only natural that I would feel miserable.

Ideals don't have to be achieved right now.

On a day when I thought, “I can't do this anymore…,” I suddenly realized something.

Having ideals is a driving force that moves you forward.
However, the goal shouldn't be “to do everything right now.”
Just because you couldn't do it today doesn't mean you have to throw away your ideals.

So, I decided to think this way.
“While holding onto my ideals, I will just take the one step I can take now.”
Isn't that enough?

For example, starting with steps like these:

・Find even one thing you “did” in the morning
→ “I couldn't wake up early, but we were able to eat breakfast together”

・Try doing the ideal action for “just 5 minutes”
→ “Open the labor and social security attorney textbook for just one page,” “Do 5 minutes of stretching”

・Focus on “starting” rather than “completing”
→ Instead of “I have to finish it,” acknowledge yourself for “having started it”

Conclusion

I couldn't be perfect today either.
But even so, if I was able to take even one action, I am definitely moving forward.

If you are also
feeling down because “I'm not the person I thought I would be,”
please, I don't want you to blame yourself.

It is okay to keep holding onto your ideals.
But don't reject yourself for “not being there yet” in those ideals.

Between your ideals and reality,
there is surely a small bridge called “the step you take now.”
Why don't we cross it together, little by little?