When I Want to Take a Break from Myself #Ao-Bura Literature Club

I am constantly thinking that I want to take a break from myself.
Perhaps I have a nature that is more sensitive to external stimuli and reacts more strongly than other people.
Because of that, I live my life constantly being swayed by my external environment, both mentally and physically.

Another thing is that I like philosophy.
I like to think, and before I know it, I am spending almost all my time, except when I am asleep, thinking deeply about something.
And I think so myself, too.
I have a very complicated way of thinking, and I am a troublesome person.
Sometimes, I even get fed up with myself.
I think that continuous stream of thought fatigues my brain and creates a state where it is constantly overheating.
As a result, chronic fatigue and lethargy never go away.

From the outside, I might just look like I am sitting there blankly.
But if one could peek inside my head, I would probably fall into the category of people who are turning their thoughts over at a considerable speed.

Resting the body might not be that difficult.
But resting the mind is as difficult as ascetic training.
No matter how much I lie down, my mind keeps moving without stopping.

It is often said in Zazen or meditation to "empty your mind," and I know that is what I need.
Even so, it does not go well.

But recently, I realized one thing.
Could it be that my mind is spinning precisely because I am not moving my body?
Conversely, if I move my body, wouldn't that excessive thinking quiet down a little?

I started thinking that when I remembered the time I used to go to the gym and do serious strength training.
At that time, I feel like I was certainly more mentally stable than I am now.

So, I joined a gym again and started a life of moving my body.
And what do you know?
As expected, the spinning of my mind slowed down just a little.
Along with that, I could tell that my mind was becoming slightly more settled.

Of course, I think it is also important to rest without doing anything.
But for me, "taking a break from myself" might not just be about stopping, but about moving my body and returning to the natural senses of a human being. That is what I thought.

What makes people tired is different for everyone. The way to let oneself rest is also different for everyone.
It was the moment I realized that resting is also something that requires technique and training.