Beyond the 'Ordinary'—The Day My Daughter's Words Made Me Pause

My eldest daughter's final class observation in elementary school.


Each student was presenting their goals for when they become middle schoolers.
On my daughter's flip chart, it was written like this:


'To be able to do the ordinary things.'

When I heard those words,



a slight unease stirred deep in my chest.
What does it mean to be 'ordinary'?



Not forgetting things.

Being on time.
Doing things without being told.

Since I was little,

'You're sloppy,'
'You're not doing things properly,'
'You forget things too often.'

I grew up being told these things.



When I was in second grade,
I was often scolded by my homeroom teacher.

I can't remember what I did.


But,

'It's me again.'

That feeling is the only thing that remains.



After I became an adult,
I encountered the term developmental disability.

'This might be me.'

When I thought that,
I could breathe a little easier.



But at the same time, I think.

Back then, there was no such term.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

Is calling this a 'trait' just an excuse?
So, I studied.



Because I wanted to understand my daughter.

And,

I wanted to understand myself, too.
Even though I know it in my head,



I still say to my daughter,

'Do it properly,'

'I've told you so many times already.'
Nights when I can't say 'I'm sorry'

while thinking I might have said too much.



She is a child who can get lost in the things she loves.
If I ask, she will help with chores.



But if I don't tell her, she doesn't keep it up.
Ah,

I was surely like that, too.



My daughter's
'To be able to do the ordinary things'



was not a declaration of inability, but perhaps
a wish that she wants to be able to do them.

From now on, our environment will change.


My work, too.
My daughter's every day, too.



I don't want to be indifferent.

But I also don't want to be someone who forces things.
I want to be someone who stays on her side even when she fails.



If I say too much,
I want to be someone who can properly say 'I'm sorry.'


Facing this again starts now.


On days when she has worked hard outside,
it's okay to let go a little



at home.



Adults are surely the same.

Behind the appearance of being sloppy,
there might be the best effort



of the day.



I want to be someone

who can understand that.
What is 'ordinary' is different for everyone.



What is 'ordinary' for you?
It might just be



someone else's best effort.

#Parenting
#ThresholdOfAdolescence
#DevelopmentalTraits
#MothersFeelings
#MarginsOfWords
#ToYouBecomingAMiddleSchooler
#ParentChildTime
#ItsOkayToFail

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