"Time as a Medicine" - What Works and What Doesn't -

Disasters, accidents, illnesses, and such—
these kinds of"misfortunes" always "pass with time," or
in some cases, from the moment you encounter them, they become
(even if only little by little, still)
things of the "past" that drift further away.


However, the "emotions" and "feelings" that your own heart creates—for example,
envy, resentment, anger, hatred, and regret,
as long as you hold onto them and won't let go,
they retain their shape,
and sometimes they refuse to ever become the "past."
In other words,(if they were pleasant emotions, that would be fine, but the ones listed above are different, so in that case,)

it isa state where you are unnaturally damming up time in the middle of "misfortune," and
you are keeping "yourself" trapped there forever.

Therefore, I try to distinguish in my consciousness between the former, "misfortune that comes to you," and the latter, "misfortune that one's own inner self keeps creating."
—because that makes my heart feel much clearer.

There is a saying, "Time is the best medicine."

I believe "time as medicine" brings certain effectiveness to the former.
If it is an "event," then
as days pass, it drifts away from memory, or
even if it doesn't drift away, at every moment,
there is always at least something
changing in the "things" surrounding it.
(Thinking about it this way, "having change" is an important thing, isn't it?)

But what about the latter case?
Could it not be called a "misfortune that never changes"
unless "you yourself" change your state of mind?
—or rather, in the first place,
the very fact that something inherently formless, like "feelings,"
stays in one place forever without changing its shape or direction,
is that not, in itself,
already quite "stifling" or "unpleasant"?

—Yes,for some reason, I feel that we often try to grasp, think about, and handle everything
under the premise that it "never changes."

But, however,(even if it might still be possible "conceptually,")
is it not the case that something "unnatural" like "never changing"cannot even exist in the first place?

The word "lingering attachment" certainly exists.
But even that, I believe,
does not inherently include the meaning of "forever" from the start.
Whether it is the heart, or anything else, tangible or intangible,
I think it is unnatural for something to "remain" there forever without changing, even as time passes.

In other words,
if you feel that "unpleasant emotions" or a "heart facing misfortune"
have been sitting there "fixed" inside you for a long time,
like a bad "habit",
I think it is better to consciously "move" or "change" them yourself.
If you don't, eventually,
just like your legs falling asleep from staying in the same position for too long,
I feel there are times when you might think,
"I want to move it, but wait? Can I no longer move it well?"
—and that is "even though it is your own heart and emotions."

In that way, you chain your heart and emotions,
grab them and won't let go,
and keep them locked in the same narrow place (which isn't very comfortable either)—
and furthermore, making them harder to move eventually—
is, surprisingly, none other than
"your own hands."
That is to say,you are telling your own heart and emotions "don't move"—in other words,
"you must not forget the resentment," or
"you should keep regretting," or
"obsess over it," "don't look away," or "there is no way you can forgive them,"—
you are the one who keeps casting such spells on yourself.
Your heart and emotions, which are naturally trying to forget,
or trying to change their posture,
are ultimately being kept bound by the "hands of your self-consciousness."

First, set your heart and emotions free.
—I also think that, in the end,
the only one who can do that is,
after all, yourself.
(Or, this could also be phrased as,
"Because it is you, you should be able to do it.")

You don't need logic.
In fact, the more you think about it, the less likely you are to be able to do it.

I just think, "Let go of it."
Into the air of this new day
(yes, because it repeats, it's easy to take for granted and forget, but
"today" is surprisingly "new" every single day!),
reach out your hand,
and just let it flow away, I think.


And I think it's fine if it's "today" of all days.
The "today" when you decided
"let's let go" or "shall I try letting go?"
is the time to open those fingers, that palm.

Whenever I think about such things,

I feel that it is better to keep the "heart," "emotions," and "feelings"
as "free-range" as possible.

When you have them "fixed" in place,
you are naturally assuming, for example, "my emotions should be directed this way," and
you are going out of your way to pin them down by the neck,
so I think that can also become a kind of (or rather, literally)
"strangling yourself"
suffering.
—In that case, a worse scenario that comes to mind is,
because you are going out of your way to make yourself suffer,
you don't want to deny "the self that does such things," and
you end up ignoring the fact that "it is actually painful"
and moving in the direction of pretending to be numb.
So, surprisingly,
the one who is directly tormenting you "in this very moment"
is often not someone else (who existed in the past, for example),
but if you get down to it, it is often "your current self.".

After all,
"Let go of that thing you are clutching; you should let it go," I think.

"Hearts" and "emotions," in some cases,
should be released even from the "self" that owns them,
"Huh? I didn't realize I was facing that way?"
like that,
I feel it is a good balance to be
easily swayed by something outside that keeps changing,
and to be somewhat self-willed.

To the point where, even if it is your own heart or emotions,
they are like a separate living creature from you.

If you do that, naturally,
even if you yourself
are tied up in some kind of logic
and standing still,
your heart and emotions will surely
leave you behind in a hurry,
and try to catch up to the "present," to "this moment" first,
and then, I wonder if they will start trying to catch the "day called today" that becomes new every day
and synchronize with it?

That is why I want to value more the idea of "letting the heart move on its own."

Starting this year,
I intend not to keep things inside my own narrow heart or mind,
but rather, like the air, or clouds, or the wind,
I plan to let my "heart"
drift freely and gently.
( I am seeking independence for my heart from the person that is me! Haha)

After all, every single day,
a "brand new today" like a fresh shirt or clean sheets
is being delivered here.

――To summarize this story at the end.

"If you can once set your heart free,
isn't it often the case that leaving it alone naturally
makes 'time as a medicine' more effective?"
That was the point.

As an aside.
Heavy snow is tough, but
once in a while,
it's nice to have the world wiped clean.
(Yes, "only once in a while," though. Haha)