7 I Didn't Let My Child Eat With Her Hands | Until My Child Started Eating

Series: "Until My Child Started Eating"
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Eating with hands is good for development. As a registered dietitian, I knew that well.
Touching ingredients to feel their texture. Grabbing them with one's own hands and bringing them to the mouth. Eating with hands has important significance in fostering the development of the five senses and motor skills, as well as the desire to "want to eat." I understood that perfectly well in theory.

Even so, I didn't really let my daughter eat with her hands.
…Perhaps the honest truth is that I couldn't let her.

Around the time my daughter was almost one year old, I thought, "It's about time for her to start eating with her hands," and offered her vegetable sticks and bite-sized rice balls. She was already able to hold toys skillfully, so I thought it would surely be fine, but...

She didn't even want to reach out for the food.
Even if she grabbed the vegetables, she would immediately throw them away.
She would just squash the rice balls and be done with it.

There was no sign of her trying to "eat"; it was just a repetition of her throwing the squashed food onto the floor.

As I picked up the thrown food, I thought:
—Ah, I can't handle this emotionally.
Even though I knew "eating with hands is important," having food thrown away every time was honestly exhausting.
If she were at least eating, it would be one thing, but seeing her throw the food the moment she picked it up made me feel like she was "drifting further and further away from eating," and my spirits were gradually being worn down.

That is why I decided to have her hold a spoon, even though I thought it might be a little early.
Of course, she wasn't at an age where she could use it well yet. But, in any case, it was painful for me to watch her squash her food with her hands.
"If she holds a spoon, I'll feel a little more at ease." That feeling was behind the pretext of spoon practice.

It wasn't an ideal written in a parenting book, but a choice to protect my own heart.
Before I could even think, "Let's try this," I think I had already given up somewhere, thinking, "I guess I'm done with hand-feeding..."

*

Around the time she turned one, my daughter gradually got used to the spoon.
At first, she was just holding it, but eventually, she started trying to scoop up the food.
Of course, she spilled everything, but I could see her trying to do the process of "scooping, bringing it to her mouth, and eating" on her own.

She wanted to try it herself rather than have me feed her.
It was the moment when the desire to "want to eat" began to sprout little by little.

It's not that I didn't have regrets about skipping the hand-feeding stage.
Until I could think, "This child will grow up in her own way," there was still some conflict somewhere, wondering, "Is this okay?"
But the fact that she was "growing properly" was certainly appearing in our daily lives.

In the end, I couldn't "properly make" my daughter eat with her hands. Even so, my daughter grew her ability to "eat by herself" at her own pace.
Perhaps the assumption that "I must make her develop in the correct order" was what was actually binding my heart.
But now, I think this: Finding the path that allows the child to progress in their own unique way is more important than the order of development. And that the parent's heart, watching over them, should not break as much as possible. That was the most important thing.

I didn't let her eat with her hands. Or rather, I "couldn't." I was doing the best I could at that time.
But my daughter was moving forward properly at her own pace.

Just as a child's "ability to eat" grows, there is also room for a parent's heart to grow.
Instead of "this is how it should be," I hope to continue sharing meal times together while choosing, "maybe this way is okay."

*

Next time, I will share a story about how an ingredient I had always thought I disliked unexpectedly became a savior in my parenting.