[Transition Theory] The Neutral Zone I am in now. And memories of stamps.
Right now, I am in a quiet and mysterious time.
I can no longer return to the "hustle mode" I used to be in.
However, I don't clearly see "something new" yet either.
Just like a chrysalis before it becomes a butterfly, something is definitely happening inside.
It feels like I am doing nothing, yet something is slowly ripening.
What gave a name to this feeling was "Transition Theory (William Bridges)."
Transition theory is as follows.
◇ In life's milestones, there are "external events (turning points)" and "internal changes (transitions)."
Job changes, divorce, illness, retirement, loss.
Through such events, we let go of our "former selves" and transition to a "new self."
The process proceeds in the following three stages.
1. Ending
Parting with one's former self, roles, relationships, and things one cherished.
It is often accompanied by sadness, emptiness, a sense of loss, and confusion.
2. Neutral Zone
A "time of being no one."
In this vacuum of identity, while facing anxiety and nihilism, preparations for reconstruction are quietly taking place.
Actually, it is the "dark and rich" season of life where creativity is most nurtured.
3. New Beginning
When you encounter a new purpose, new values, and a new self, and start moving with "power welling up from within."
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My current state is the middle period.
I used to try to confirm my existence by being needed by someone.
I had quietly convinced myself that "if I am not useful, there is no meaning."
I could no longer keep up with that way of living, and it ended quietly.
It was not a spectacular collapse, but an ending that felt like the curtain falling without a sound, along with a sudden realization.
And now, I am here as someone who is no one.
There is no need to prove anything, and no need to be recognized by anyone.
But at the same time, the question "Who am I?" also arises...
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As a recommended way to spend the neutral zone, transition theory suggests writing a "personal history" or a "mock obituary."
I write a blog as my personal history, so I was a bit surprised and somewhat happy that I was naturally doing what was recommended.
When I write a blog, nostalgic scenery, memories, and the small feelings I felt at that time gradually come back to life.
Both good memories and not-so-good memories...
A blog is not just a record, but a task of carefully and honestly scooping up my own voice.
By the way, the recommended exercise "mock obituary (virtual obituary)" refers to a reflective exercise where you imagine and write about how you would be spoken of if you were to pass away now.
It is said to be a format like a newspaper obituary, where you write about your half-life, personality, things you cherished, and relationships with those around you from a third-party perspective.
I tried writing my own version of a mock obituary.
[Mock Obituary (Virtual Eulogy)]
(My name) was a presence that gently lit a flame in people's hearts through words and prayers.
After experiencing depression in her 30s, she began work that delivered healing to people using the power of words while carefully facing her own inner self.
"Writing for someone else" was like a "prayer" for her.
In her later years, she also worked as a "letter writer," crafting letters that stood by people at life's milestones,
leaving behind words that remained deeply in many people's hearts.
XX, who listened intently to the "voice of life" until the end.
That quiet strength and warmth will continue to live on in the hearts of many people.
That is it.
I wrote it not to prove anything or to be evaluated by anyone, but simply for "my own understanding."
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Recently, I have suddenly become interested in "writing letters."
It is not a clear shape yet, but I feel like it will gently stay by my side on my path forward.
In that flow, I remembered the time I spent collecting stamps with my father.
I liked the stamps themselves, but above all, I was happy about that quiet time spent with my father.
Eventually, I became attracted to the seasonal flowers, scenery, and small story-like pictures drawn on the stamps.
Each one was like a small painting, and just by looking at them, I felt like I had gone on a journey somewhere far away.
And now, what I think about stamps again is,
that the very moment of sticking on a stamp is the quietest "gesture of love" for the recipient.
I feel that that one small piece gently and kindly connects the feelings and warmth that cannot be conveyed by words alone.
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Although nothing is taking shape yet, there are several quiet premonitions that I feel in my daily life.
For now, I am gently warming them up.
There is no need to rush.
The day will surely come when I encounter new "wishes," "work," or "roles."
At that time, I think I will surely remember how rich this "silent time" was.