Taking a Step Back for My Own Sake — Reflections on My PTA Role

How should you deal with someone who has no capacity left?

The PTA has a role called "Community Committee Member."
One person from each school commute group takes turns in this role.

Since it was my turn this year,
I needed to decide on the next person.

In our group,
there was only one person left who hadn't done it yet.

When I sent a message via LINE, I was ignored, and when I reached out again,
they said, "Please contact me individually, not through the group LINE."
When I called,

they told me, "I can't talk right now, could you be more considerate?"
Furthermore,

they specified a time, saying, "How about Thursday or Friday at 10:00 PM?"
Honestly, I was a bit bewildered.
My own younger child had come down with the flu,

and I had been unable to stick to my schedule for days.

Even when I messaged them privately, there was no reply.
It felt like I was being ignored,
and it's true that my feelings were hurt.

"Why do I have to be spoken to like this?"
"I'm trying to be polite and handle this properly."

But, I decided to call one last time at the specified hour.
After talking, I understood.

That person wasn't a bad person.

They just truly had no capacity left.

With work, family, and so many things piling up,
they didn't have the mental energy to accept the request to take on a PTA role.

To the point where their words became harsh.
I'm glad I didn't give up halfway,
didn't get emotional,

and spoke politely until the end.
There are so many parents right now who have no capacity left.
Their time, physical strength, and mental energy,


are always pushed to the limit.

In such a state,
when roles or requests are dumped on them,

it's enough to overwhelm their hearts.
If someone is harsh to you,
I understand the urge to be harsh back.

But,
"retaliating" rarely makes things easier.

You don't need to understand everything about the other person's situation, but
"Maybe this person is struggling right now."

Just by taking that step back and thinking that way,
the relationship can move in a slightly different direction.
Being considerate
doesn't mean wearing yourself out.

Stay calm, be polite,
and do what needs to be done.

Just by doing that,
there are certainly times when you can reduce unnecessary conflict.

Perhaps it's not so much for the other person's sake, but
a way of keeping distance so that I don't get any more exhausted myself.

PTA is tough.
But,
if I managed to get through it without ending up hating someone,
then I think that alone makes today a "success."

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