[Connection with Society ②] "Will my child get along well with friends?" "What about a life without children?" ~Diverse forms of 'connection' with society~

Last time, we talked about the changes in the 'connection with society' for moms and dads after their children are born. We discussed how there are new encounters, but also moments of slight confusion.

Now, this time, let's broaden our perspective a little and look at:

1. How do people who choose a life without children engage with society?

2. What moms and dads are most curious about! How does a child's 'ability to engage with society (social skills)' develop?

I would like to explore these two themes with you, looking at what research from around the world has revealed.

Various ways of living, various forms of 'connection' 🎨

In this world, some people choose a life with children, while others choose a life without them. Both ways of living are important, personal choices.

How do those who have chosen not to have children engage with society?

• "Not having kids yet?" Feeling a little bit of pressure...? 🤔

  • We hear voices saying that they sometimes feel a little pressure when asked by those around them, "When are you having kids?" or when faced with an atmosphere that assumes "having children is the norm."

• Expanding your own world through work and hobbies 💼

  • Since they don't have children, there is also the aspect of being able to focus on work or spend time on hobbies and things they enjoy. Many people are deeply involved in society through their professional achievements or volunteer activities.

• Consciously nurturing 'connections' ☕

  • Because there are fewer natural encounters through child-rearing, it seems many people consciously nurture human connections by valuing friendships and local involvement, or by participating in new communities.

Whether or not they have children, people live by connecting with others. Doesn't it make you feel a bit more open-minded to know that there are various ways of living and various forms of 'connection'? 😊

Tell me! How do children's 'social skills' develop? 🌱

From here on, it's a theme that moms and dads are particularly curious about! You want your children to be able to interact well with the people around them... How exactly do those 'social skills' develop?

• 'Social skills' are something that slowly develop after birth 👣

  • Babies have the ability to interact with people from the moment they are born, but social skills like "taking turns," "considering the other person's feelings," and "cooperating" are not innate. They are things that grow slowly, little by little, through experience and through many interactions with the people around them. There is no need to rush.

• The foundation of everything is an "I love you!" at home 💖

  • "I love you, Daddy, Mommy!" "This is where I feel safest!"... This sense of security felt at home becomes the foundation of your child's heart.When this foundation is solid, it becomes easier to cultivate the courage to go out into the world, the ability to trust others, and a compassionate heart.

  • Research also suggests that a stable relationship (attachment) with parents in early childhood becomes the basis for later interpersonal relationships.

  • You don't need to do anything special. A hug when they leave, a bedtime story, listening to your child say, "This happened today"... such daily accumulation nurtures your child's heart. Be careful not to get so absorbed in your smartphone that you aren't listening to your child.

• Learning important things through play! 🧸⚽

  • Exchanging "Can I borrow this?" and "Sure" with friends.

  • Waiting for your turn on playground equipment.

  • Cooperating by playing roles in pretend play.

  • Getting into a fight and making up.

  • Play is the best learning environment for your child! Understanding rules, expressing their own feelings, imagining the feelings of others... through play, they are learning the essential skills for living in society through hands-on experience.

• The experience of "I did it!" is the seed of self-confidence 🌱

  • "I buttoned my shirt all by myself!"

  • "I did a forward roll on the horizontal bar!"

  • "I ate a bite of the vegetable I don't like!"

  • Please let moms and dads notice these little "I did it!" moments and praise them a lot by saying, "That's amazing!" or "You worked hard!" Those words will nurture your child's self-confidence (self-esteem) that says, "I can do it!" It also leads to the motivation to say, "I'll try even harder next time!"

• Various "experiences" broaden the world 🗺️

  • You might feel a jolt when you hear the term "experience gap," but experiences are not just about special things.

  • Small discoveries found on a walk
    "Oh, look, a line of ants!" "This flower smells nice!"

  • Excitement at the library
    "This picture book looks interesting!" "Let's borrow this one next!"

  • Helping out together
    "Can you help me wash the vegetables?" "You're good at folding laundry!"

  • Participating in local events
    Festivals, flea markets, workshops, etc.—meeting new people and visiting new places is stimulating!

  • Various studies also suggest that having connections not only with family and school, but also with the local community and diverse people, is important for fostering a child's social skills. Perhaps what is most important is the feeling of enjoying things together with your child when their curiosity antenna reacts, saying, "Shall we try it?"

[Recommended Item Introduction] A book on ways to develop children's curiosity!
This book introduces from multiple perspectives the ways caregivers need to interact to foster "children's thinking skills," based on the practices of the Tokyo Gakugei University Kindergarten. It is a must-have book for caregivers where theory and practice intersect👇

This time, we looked at "a life without children" and "how children's social skills develop."

A child's social skills are not developed by doing anything special, but are nurtured slowly through warm interactions in daily life, play, and various experiences.

Now, in the final installment next time, we will delve a little deeper into:

• How does the "home environment" affect a child's growth?

• What is the concerning issue of "inequality"?

• What does it mean for society as a whole to support child-rearing?

We will take a closer look at the relationship with the 'society' that surrounds child-rearing, such as the questions above.

Be sure not to miss our next post! 😊