There is a version of yourself you only meet when things don't go well
It is not quite like the three wise monkeys of Nikko, but
everyone has things they try not to see, try not to hear, and try not to speak about.
For example, staying silent because you think you shouldn't feel anger, or
smiling and saying "I'm fine."
Thinking it was for the best for yourself and others, you have kept the peace by covering up your true feelings.
However, if that continues for a long time, you may eventually end up covering up your true desires as well.
For example,
suppressing the desire to "rely on others" because you think it is a weakness.
Hiding the desire to "change" under the comfort of maintaining the status quo.
In such ways, we unconsciously put a lid on our own thoughts.
What lies beneath the lid holds the most power
Things we do unconsciously have a strong influence precisely because we are unaware of them.
They are the "incomplete emotions" sleeping deep within the heart.
For example, past experiences that didn't go well, frustrations you couldn't tell anyone,
or a small sense of resignation that says, "I'm just not good enough anyway."
These do not disappear even if you leave them alone.
They simply continue to live under the lid you created in your heart, and only open the lid to show their face when you try to "move forward".
Therefore, times when you cannot move forward are the best chances to peek inside that lid.
Negative events are messages from the heart
When things don't go well, people feel, "I failed again."
But in reality, that difficult situation is telling you something you tucked away deep under the lid of your heart.
For example,
・Being overly hurt by someone's words
・Feeling empty because your efforts were in vain
・Stumbling over the same thing repeatedly for some reason
When such events occur, instead of asking "what is wrong,"
try gently asking yourself, "What have I been trying not to see, what have I been plugging my ears to, and what have I been keeping my mouth shut about?"
.
Even if the answer doesn't come immediately, that question will help loosen the deeper parts of your heart.
It is precisely when things are not going well that you find hints for success
When life is smooth, there is no need to explore the depths of your heart.
However, it is during times when things are not going well that the parts of yourself you couldn't see before begin to emerge.
If you can welcome those feelings that have emerged from under the lid with warmth, without blaming that version of yourself, that is when reality truly begins to change.
The reason you cannot move forward lies not on the outside, but on the inside.
And when you notice something within that inner space, the version of yourself that was holding you back begins to change.
What lies beyond peering inside the lid
It may seem like you are stuck, but you are moving forward properly.
By trying to remember, even just a little, the version of yourself that was on the other side of that lid, the door to the future will point in a new direction.
When you want to move forward but cannot, it might be the perfect time toface yourself once again—the self you had kept under wraps.
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