To those who dislike themselves for not trying hard enough
完璧主義だった。
小学校は普通に過ごした。
主に学校の図書館。
市民図書館で本を借りて家にいた。
暇だった。
本をずっと読んでいた気がする。
勉強は苦手ではなかった。
力も入れてなかった。
だから、中学生になったらしっかりしなきゃという思いが芽生えた。
これが完璧主義の発端だった。When I was a perfectionist
I went through my study materials three times.
For art, I studied world heritage sites until 1:00 AM and memorized almost everything.
When I have time where I'm not doing anything, I feel guilty.
I feel like I have no value
when I'm not working hard.
"It's still not enough"
"I should be able to do more"
Such voices won't leave my head.
何かを求めているのに、
それが何なのかは分からない。I am constantly unsatisfied.
When I was in junior high school, there were times I studied until 1:00 AM.
In art class, I memorized almost all the world heritage sites.
I have to do this properly, I thought.
But that material
hardly appeared on the test.
I felt let down.
After working that hard, I thought, is this all there is?
But strangely,
the world didn't change at all.
Even when I aimed for perfection, not much changed.
Even if it's not perfect,
it's okay.
The more you think you have to work hard,
the more you have already worked hard enough.
Even if it's not perfect,
there are days when just eating a meal is enough.
今日もご飯食べて偉いね。Thank you for reading this far!!
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