Becoming Free

We believe that we move ourselves by our own will.

Reaching out. Starting to walk.
Speaking words. Replying to someone.
Getting angry. Staying silent. Running away.

We feel as though we think, choose, and move ourselves in all of these actions.

But is that really the case?

When we move our hands, we do not feel like we are "moving our brains."
We do not feel like we are "sending signals to our nerves."
We do not feel like we are "contracting our muscles."

The hand simply moves.

There, signals travel from the brain to the body.
There are nerves, muscles, sensations, predictions, and corrections.
However, from the person's own perspective, they are not operating these things.

We are not moving our bodies with a controller.
Yet, somehow, we are able to move.

Here lies the question of "what is the self?"

I am not just a brain

If the body moves based on instructions from the brain, is a human being just a brain?

No, it cannot be said so simply.

Our limbs are not just parts that execute the brain's commands.
Hands touch objects and feel their hardness, temperature, and weight.
Feet feel the slope of the ground and the body's center of gravity.
Skin, joints, muscles, internal organs, breathing, heartbeat.
All of these are constantly feeding information back to the brain.

It is not just the brain moving the body.
The body also creates the brain.

Therefore, a human is not just a brain.
It is an existence formed by the brain and body connecting and exchanging sensations with each other.

We are not "operating our bodies," but rather,
living as the very cycle of the brain and body.

The hand is part of me not simply because I can move it.
It is because sensations return from it.
It is because movement and sensation form a single loop.

Therefore, the self is not something inside the skin, but rather,
something that exists within the cycle of moving, feeling, correcting, and moving again.that is what we can call it.

My will might not be what moves me

We believe that we move by our own will.

However, research in neuroscience suggests that the brain may begin preparing for an action before we consciously decide to move.

This is the concept of readiness potential.

This does not mean that humans lack free will.
Readiness potential is closer to a state where preparations for movement are underway rather than a signal that an action is finalized.
Even if there is preparation, sometimes the movement does not actually occur.

In other words, something begins in our bodies and brains before our consciousness is aware of it. We think we move because we intend to, but in reality, the movement has already started before we have the intention to move.

Anger arises.
Anxiety is born.
You want to talk back.
You want to run away.
You feel like reaching for your smartphone.
You want to get closer to someone.
You want to start something.

These movements emerge naturally from our bodies, memories, habits, environment, and emotions, rather than being commanded from scratch by our consciousness.

So, what is will?

Will may not be the commander at the beginning of every action.
Rather, it is something that acts upon the self that has already begun to move.

Stopping.
Waiting a little.
Changing direction.
Assigning meaning.
Choosing a different reaction.
Learning so that a different reaction is more likely to occur next time.

Perhaps that is its function.

To use a car analogy, will is not the engine itself, but rather the brakes, the steering wheel, and the navigation system.

The body and the unconscious are already about to start running.
Emotions and impulses act like the accelerator.
Within that, will slows things down, changes the direction of the turn, and considers the destination.

In short, will is
not the power to completely control oneself, but the power to manage the self that has already begun to moveitself.

The self that has begun to move is a reaction.

Then, what is the "self that has begun to move"?

It is a reaction. It is not a reflex action.

Pulling your hand away after touching something hot is a physical reflex.
However, feeling annoyed when someone says something harsh to you is a reaction.
Feeling nervous in front of others is a reaction.
Wanting to check your smartphone when a notification sounds is a reaction.
Feeling happy when praised or hurt when criticized are also reactions.

Reactions include not only the body but also past experiences, memories, learning, habits, values, fears, desires, the atmosphere of the moment, human relationships, fatigue, and physical condition.

Even when told the same words, people react differently.

When someone says, "Isn't that wrong?"
Some people feel attacked.
Some people take it as a helpful suggestion.
Some people feel ashamed and go silent.
Some people try to explain further.
Some people perceive the other person as an enemy.

Even if the external stimuli are the same, something that emerges from within is different.

This is because a reaction is
something that your past self has embodied itself.

What have you experienced in the past?
What kind of words have you been exposed to?
In what kind of places were you able to feel safe?
In what kind of places were you hurt?
What have you learned, what have you feared, and what have you cherished?

These things accumulate and emerge as the reaction of this very moment.

Therefore, a reaction is also your past self moving first.

Will is the power to change reactions.

What is important here is that reactions are not set in stone.

Someone who once had no choice but to stay silent when spoken to harshly
may, through accumulated experience, gradually become able to respond with words.

Someone who once had no choice but to get angry
may learn to accept their anger, put it into words, and find other ways to communicate.

Someone who once had no choice but to run away when feeling anxious
may become able to consult someone or move forward just a little while still holding onto that anxiety.

This is not about will forcibly suppressing reactions every time.

It is about increasing the options for reactions.

Will is not something that completely controls reactions.
It is a function that gradually changes the habits of your reactions.

At first, the usual reaction appears.
You notice it.
You wait a little.
You try different words.
You fail.
You try again.
It is a sensation of gradually becoming familiar to your body.

In this way, the reaction that was once the only one becomes two, then three, and continues to increase.

Therefore, I believe that will is
the power to notice your past self and gradually create your future self.

Freedom is not about doing whatever you want.

From here, the meaning of freedom begins to change.

When people talk about freedom, it is usually thought of as "being able to do what you like."

Not being disturbed by anyone.
Not being restricted.
Not being ordered around.
Being able to do things exactly as you wish.

Of course, that is also a part of freedom. However, it is only a part.

People can be unfree even when they are not restricted from the outside.

Getting angry in situations where you don't need to be.
Taking on tasks when you should have declined.
Staying silent when you should have asked.
Working when you should have rested.
Looking at your smartphone when you don't need to.
Saying words you don't need to say.
Having something you want to do, but being pulled back by your usual anxieties.

In these moments, people are not being forced from the outside.
Yet, they are not free.

This is because they are bound by their own habitual reactions.

In other words, being unfree is not just about being bound from the outside. It is also about
having few options for how to react within yourself.

If that is the case, what is freedom?

Freedom is not being able to do whatever you want.
Freedom is being able to choose your reactions again.

Having a reaction other than yelling when anger arises.
Having a reaction other than running away when anxiety arises.
Having a reaction other than staying silent when you are hurt.
Having a reaction other than stopping when you are afraid.
Having a reaction other than leaving it to someone else when you are lost.

The more ways you have to react, the freer you become.

To learn is to increase your options for reaction.

So, how do you increase your ways of reacting?

They increase through learning and experience.

By reading books, your vocabulary increases.
By talking to people, you learn different perspectives.
By traveling, you learn that there is more than one way of seeing common sense.
By failing, you learn how to handle things next time.
By working, you learn the circumstances of different positions.
By writing, you become able to observe your own reactions.
By moving your body, you learn how to release emotions.
Through dialogue with someone you feel safe with, you become able to try different reactions.

Learning is not simply increasing knowledge.
It is not just memorizing the correct answer.

To learn is
to increase the ways you react to the world.

And experience is not just about adding to your memories. It is
about building a body that can react differently when you encounter a similar situation next time.

What is important here is that just knowing is not enough.

Even if you know that "it's good to take a breath when you're angry," you might not be able to do it the moment you actually get angry.
Even if you know that "it's okay to say no," you might not be able to do so when you are in front of the other person.

Therefore, options for reaction are

Know.
Try.
Fail.
Try again.
Little by little, it becomes second nature.

It grows through this process.

Learning increases the options in your mind.
Experience increases the options in your body.

And when those options become second nature, a person becomes a little more free.

The actions of those who want to be free change.

This definition of freedom holds great significance.

If you think of freedom as "being able to do what you like," you will try to eliminate restrictions.

I want more money.
I want more time.
I want more authority.
I want an environment where no one disturbs me.
I want to go to a freer place.

Of course, that is also important.

However, that alone is sometimes not enough to become free.

Even with money, you are not free if you only have one way to react to anxiety.
Even with time, you cannot rest if you only have a way of blaming yourself.
Even with authority, you will be lonely if you lack the ability to trust others.
Even if you change your environment, the same suffering will continue if you repeat the same reactions.

Therefore, what someone who wants to be free should really work on is not just removing external restrictions.

Knowing your own reactions.
Looking at the origins of your reactions.
Learning different reactions.
Trying things out on a small scale.
Having a place to return to even if you fail.
Increasing the options for reactions within yourself.

When you think of it that way, the actions to become free change.

Simply quitting your job is not freedom.
Simply going on a trip is not freedom.
Simply not following anyone is not freedom.
Simply doing what you like is not freedom.

True freedom lies in
having the power to re-choose your reaction in that moment.

We can choose our reactions.

We are not entirely self-made.

The place where we were born and the environment in which we were raised.
The people we have met and the words we have been exposed to.
There are also painful experiences and memories of being praised.
The state of our body and our environment.

Our reactions are shaped by such things.

Therefore, humans are not completely free beings.

However, it is not that we have no freedom at all.

We can become aware of our reactions.
We can put those reactions into words.
We can learn about other reactions.
Through new experiences, we can increase our range of reactions.

Herein lies human freedom.

Freedom is not about being unaffected by anything.
Freedom is knowing what you are being influenced by, and then being able to change your next reaction little by little.

We are not made of just a brain.
We are not made of just a body.
We are not moved by will alone.

We live by constantly reacting within our bodies, brains, emotions, memories, environments, habits, and relationships with others.

And we can increase the ways in which we react.

Therefore, freedom is not an ideal that exists far away.
Freedom exists within our daily reactions.

Being able to wait a little when anger arises.
Being able to put anxiety into words when it arises.
Being able to try something small even when there is fear.
Being able to have a path other than self-blame when hurt.
Being able to have a different perspective before making the other person an enemy.

I believe each one of those is freedom.

Summary

We are not moved by will alone, but rather we begin to move as reactions shaped by our past experiences. That is why freedom is not about doing whatever you want, but about increasing your ways of reacting through learning and experience, and becoming able to choose yourself anew.

I am the person writing this article. Thank you for reading until the end.