One month since I started note, and I haven't deleted a thing.

It has been about a month since I started note.

Since I posted my first article on 1/18,

before I knew it, until today,
I have been writing almost every day.

(Well, there were a few days I took a break...)

Honestly, I never thought
I would keep this up for so long.

In this past month, I wrote about:


・Nights when I couldn't sleep.
・Days when I moved around too much and felt exhausted afterward.
・Thinking about why it is so hard to rest.

・Days when I wrote that both the days I can do things and the days I can't are true.
・My honest feelings about reaching for my smartphone at night.

・Feeling nervous at a clothing store,
and feeling wiped out when I got home,

・And days when the sleepiness just wouldn't leave me.

I kept my hands busy with various things,
like doing jigsaw puzzles or knitting.


And,
the day I ate a strawberry parfait.

That day, I was able to truly think, "This is delicious."

Sweet, a little tart,
and cute to look at.


During that time,
the restlessness in my body was a little quieter,

and I thought, "Ah, maybe I'm okay right now..."

It was just a small thing,
but that "delicious" moment was more important than I thought.

I also wrote about the day
a friend told me
they found an aloe flower.

Being able to share in someone else's small discovery
made me happy.


There are heavy days,
and there are slightly brighter days.

This past month has been a repetition of that.

There is something I learned from writing.

Writing makes me feel a little calmer.

Things that were swirling around in my head
come out when I put them into words.

It doesn't solve anything, but it creates a little distance.
That was bigger than I expected.




And what surprises me the most
is that I haven't quit yet.

There are days when I wonder if there is any point to this.

There are days when I think,
maybe I don't have to write today.

Even so, I open the screen again,
and place my words down little by little.


Heavy nights,
and days that didn't go well,
I have properly left them here.

I don't know what I will write from here on out.

I might write about another sleepless night,
or I might write about trivial daily life.


I'm sure I will continue to waver.


But for now,

I think I will leave this place,
which continues even while I waver, just as it is.


To those who have read my posts until now,
and to you who have read this far today,

and to those who have pressed "Like"
on my posts so far,


to each and every one of you,
and to every single one of those moments, I am quietly grateful.

Thank you.