[Novel] The Polygonal Moon

The first moon was a pentagon.

A summer day in May. Matsui’s drunken gait was slower than a conveyor belt sushi restaurant. Even though, when sober, he would use his long legs to make me walk fast and even crack jokes. When I turned around after his footsteps faded, he was standing still, looking up at the sky.

“What are you doing?”
“…The moon looks like a pentagon.”
“What’s that? That’s a star.”
“Wait, really? Akari, you think stars are pentagons?”

There is nothing more irritating than being corrected by a drunk person. I threw a light right straight into his surprisingly broad shoulder. Matsui narrowed his already slender eyes and laughed, saying, “Ouch.” That smile looked cute, so I looked up at the moon to hide my reaction. But I couldn’t see any corners. It was just the usual moon.

I wish I had drunk a little more that night.
If I had, I might have been able to see the pentagonal moon with Matsui.

=======

If the seminar hadn’t been in the sixth period on Friday, things wouldn’t have turned out this way.
The social gathering after the first seminar. Up until that point in our junior year of college, I had barely spoken to Matsui, even though we were in the same department. We only knew each other’s names and faces. But by the second party that day, we were already drinking just the two of us. There are three reasons for this. Our tastes in food and alcohol were similar. We liked the same radio programs. And none of the other seminar students were good at holding their liquor.

Since then, we have continued a relationship where we go out for drinks after the seminar almost every week.

“Akari, is Matsui off today?”
“No, I don’t know.”
“Huh~ If even you don’t know, Akari, then nobody knows.”

Before I knew it, people other than the seminar students started treating Matsui and me as a set. Being thought of as “the person who knows Matsui best” makes me feel ticklish. I wonder if anyone ever asks Matsui about me, too. Just thinking about that makes the corners of my mouth soften naturally.

“Akari, Matsui-kun, aren’t you two dating?”

Misaki once asked me that. When I shook my head exaggeratedly like in a Hollywood comedy and replied, “No way,” Misaki laughed and said, “I think Matsui-kun is a good guy, though.”

Thinking about it now, I think that was the turning point.
I felt a sense of unease toward my friend Misaki, thinking, “I know Matsui’s good points better than you do.” I fell into self-loathing without understanding the reason, and that night I drank until I was sick, which was rare for me.
I understand now. It was jealousy. I was jealous of Misaki.

=======

It seems Matsui likes taking the long way home after drinking the most.
He often saw polygonal moons.

“O-ne, t-wo, th-ree, fo-ur, fi-ve… today, it’s a hex-agon.”
“That sounds like an animal call. Try chirping more like a chicken.”
“HEX-AGON!”

"The moon is a quadrilateral today."
"A square? A rectangle?"
"No, a trapezoid."

"Oh! I've never seen that before! A triangular moon!"
"Triangular...? Wait, does a half-moon count as having two corners?"
"Hmm, I wonder. I guess the usual moon is either cornerless or a digon."
"I see. I want to see a moon with more than three corners too."

I know it's just the ramblings of a drunkard.
But I loved the polygonal moons that Matsui saw.

=======

After my part-time job on Thursday, I got a message from Matsui asking, "Are you free tomorrow night?" It was unusual. Even though I keep my schedule open after our seminar every week without needing to check, and Matsui should know that. When I replied "of course," he immediately sent the time and the location of the restaurant. It's the first time we've headed to a place separately after a seminar.
Does he not want anyone to see us going together? Or does he have something important to talk about? Something important? No, no way. That couldn't be it.

Because, that would mean, could it be...

I watched Matsui rush out of the classroom after the seminar, then went to the restroom to touch up my makeup just a little. I couldn't fall asleep well last night. Even so, there was a healthy-looking me in the mirror, and the hair I curled more carefully than usual was still soft even in the evening. The delicate balance of not looking like I'm trying too hard is, if I do say so myself, perfect.

When I arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes before our meeting time, Matsui had reserved a private room. I don't like it when people do unexpected things. Why? It makes me nervous.

"Hey, thanks for your hard work."

When I opened the door to the private room, Matsui was already there, and he had already finished ordering a few things from the staff. Two draft beers, rolled omelet, stew, smoked potato salad, and dried stingray fin.
They are all things I like.

Just like last week, we talked about the seminar, drank, talked about the radio, ate, and ordered refills. My pace of drinking and talking was slower than usual, and I didn't feel the alcohol hitting my system at all.
While feeling restless, it's almost been two hours since we entered the restaurant.

"Hey,"

Here it comes! I thought, straightening my posture, but the words that came out of Matsui's mouth were, "Won't you join me for one more place?"

"Hmm... I wonder what I should do."
"Come on. I'll pay for this place and the next one too."
"Hmm..." That's a lie. Of course I'm going to go with him.
"I should have just done it like usual instead of getting a private room."

I thought about holding out a little longer, but Matsui looked so cute with his eyebrows turned down that I decided to give in right away.

"...I want to eat green pepper tsukune."
"Oh, sounds good. Let's go."

I walk for about another ten minutes past the station. The residential area is quiet, and the sounds of summer insects are clearly audible. Matsui doesn't seem very drunk either. I pick up my pace a little.

I wonder if it's a full moon tonight.
Hmm, isn't it a little bit missing on the top right?
Now that you mention it, I guess it does look that way.

You're so casual about it. I wanted to get a better look at Matsui's profile as he said that and laughed. Even though this was the first time we'd ever looked at the same moon and talked about it.

Next to a small sign, we head down the stairs to my favorite yakitori place.
I used to think tsukune (chicken meatballs) had to be served with egg yolk. But at this place, they serve it with raw green peppers. They use a halved raw green pepper as a vessel, and a large meatball asserts its presence inside. The contrast in color and texture is irresistible.

Crispy green pepper. Piping hot meatball. Ice-cold draft beer.
We toast for the second time in front of our three sacred treasures. Ah, delicious. This is what I call a separate stomach. I never knew raw green peppers could be this good until I ate them here. Hey, Matsui, this meatball really is delicious, isn't it? Should we order another round?

I'm thinking of going out with Misaki.

It was as if someone had flipped a switch, and the noise of the restaurant vanished. I can feel my expression stiffening. My facial muscles won't move unless I consciously force them to. My heart is beating so loudly. No. First, smile. Smile. Smile.

Um, when you say you're thinking of going out with her, even if you feel that way, Matsui, who knows how Misaki feels?

I knew it as I was saying it. I knew everything, everything.

Actually, Misaki confessed to me yesterday.

That's right. Misaki has always been in love with Matsui,

I'm planning to give her my answer tomorrow.

Why. Why today? Why tell me that?

I thought that if we started dating, it might make you uncomfortable if we went out for drinks together, Akari... I mean, if I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd feel very good about it. So, even if it's a gray area, I asked her to wait until today for my answer.

I can't look at Matsui's face. I reach for my beer mug unconsciously. Gulp. The beer is bitter. Hey, Matsui. If you were going to tell me something like this, don't drag it out until the second bar. Tell me at the first place. I down the beer again. It's bitter. It's painful. Swallow it. Wash it away. It's okay. I can do this. Say it.

Yeah. Thank you for telling me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Matsui.
I still can't bring myself to say congratulations.

=======

Even though I drank so much just a while ago, I ended up with my usual canned beer.
Click. Regardless of how I feel, the pull-tab always makes a crisp, pleasant sound. Thank goodness. It's bitter, but it's still properly delicious.

After that, I couldn't sit still, and the words that suddenly came out were, 'I forgot I had the morning shift at my part-time job tomorrow.' As I hurriedly prepared to leave, Matsui smiled in a troubled way and said, 'Sorry for asking too much of you.'

Matsui knew everything.
He knew I didn't take morning shifts because there was a part-timer I didn't get along with who played favorites. He knew that if Misaki and Matsui started dating, the option of the three of us going out for drinks would be gone. He knew that I was in love with him.
He surely knew everything. He knew, and he pretended not to. And he knew that I knew that he knew. That kind of clumsy kindness hurt. But I loved that about Matsui. I loved him so much.

The pedestrian crossing began to flash, and the red of the traffic light blurred and spread across my vision.
When I stopped and downed the canned beer, I saw the moon. It was large and clear, a polygonal moon that I was seeing for the first time. I hurried to count the number of corners. But before I could finish counting, the moon twisted its shape and grew hazy. No matter how many times I tried, no matter how many times I rubbed my eyes, the result was the same. The canned beer in my hand was lukewarm and a little salty.

Even so, I saw it. I saw it too. The polygonal moon.

Matsui only sees the polygonal moon on days when he's drunk to a certain extent.
If he were with Misaki while sober, he surely wouldn't be able to drink that much.

Is that a mean thought? Even so.
Please, let the polygonal moon be something that belongs only to me and Matsui.
Let me be the only one who can see the same moon as Matsui.

Even if it is just the ramblings of a drunkard.