Have you ever felt anxious, thinking, "I have to say something"? | How to deal with silence

What you need before skills | For those who fear silence in meetings

The moment conversation stops,
have you ever felt anxious, thinking, "I have to say something"?

• When you are asked for your opinion in a meeting.

• When the other person falls silent.

• Those few seconds when the conversation suddenly breaks off.

Even though it is only a few seconds,
you feel a little uneasy.

You may have experienced
that feeling at least once.

But that,
might not be a matter of social skills.

Perhaps,

"Silence = Failure"

The premise you learned somewhere
might just be quietly at work.

Why we fear silence in meetings | When we add meaning to it

The moment you are asked for an opinion in a meeting.
When you get stuck for words while reporting to your boss.
When silence continues during a 1-on-1 with a subordinate.

When silence flows,
we create a story in just a few seconds.

・Was my comment off the mark?
・Did I ruin the atmosphere?

But the other person,
might just be thinking.
They might just be choosing their words.

Silence does not always mean rejection.

Sometimes,
we are the ones adding meaning to it.

Silence is not a standstill.

Even when words stop,
it does not mean the dialogue has stopped.

Gaze. Breathing. Posture.

Outside of words,
the relationship continues.

Silence is not a failure,

but perhaps a preparation time
for the next honest thought to emerge.

The choice to "wait"

After the other person finishes speaking,
do not immediately layer on the next words.

Try leaving it as is
for just a few seconds.

In that space, the other person may take one more step
deeper inside.

Or perhaps your own true feelings
will show their face a little later.

The words of someone who does not rush
carry a quiet weight.

When silence is scary, ask yourself this

The reason silence is scary might be because of:

・You don't want to ruin the atmosphere of the room
・You worry your evaluation might drop
・You don't want to be thought of as not managing things well

It might be because you have such thoughts.

That is not a weakness,
but also proof that you value the relationship.

However, before you try to do something about that silence,
please ask yourself just one thing.

Just by having that question,
silence
changes its shape a little.

Things to check before adjusting your communication

When silence feels scary,
it might not be the "situation" that is wavering,
but rather your own state of mind as you stand in that moment.

• Are you feeling anxious?

• Are you worried about being judged?

• Are you trying a bit too hard to make things go well?

Before adjusting how you speak,
first, check your own position.

Just by doing that,

the atmosphere of the conversation
will soften a little.

What happens in training sessions

Even in corporate training settings,
how to handle this "silence" is often a topic of discussion.

・Silence during meetings
・Honest thoughts not coming out in 1-on-1s
・The room going quiet even when you ask for opinions

In situations like these,

how you "handle the silence"
greatly changes the quality of the dialogue.

Instead of trying to do something about the silence,
it is about "whether you can wait."

Just by doing that,
the depth of the other person's words
can change.

Things to adjust before skills | How to build a relationship that conveys meaning

These kinds of communication gaps

are not just a matter of skills,

but by adjusting the "premise of how you engage,"
things will naturally change.

In my training sessions,
based on these feelings of discomfort occurring in the workplace,

before focusing on "how to convey," I value
building a "relationship where things are understood".
I place importance on this.

Conclusion

Time when it is okay to be silent.

That may not be a time when words are lacking,

but rather a time when you can stay connected,
even without words.

The next time silence falls,

before immediately adding more words,
try waiting for just a little while.

There, words that have not yet emerged
may be breathing quietly.

Regarding consultations

If,

・Silence is increasing in meetings or 1-on-1s
・Subordinates are not easily speaking their true feelings
・You want to soften the atmosphere in the workplace a little more

If there are companies feeling such challenges,

I also accept consultations for training and lectures
tailored to the workplace.

For those who need it,
please feel free to contact me.

Just doing that will soften the atmosphere of the conversation a little.

Conclusion

Time when it is okay to be silent.

That may not be a time when words are lacking,
but rather a time when you can stay connected even without words.

The next time silence falls, before you rush to add more words,
try waiting for just a little while.

There, words that haven't come out yet
may be breathing quietly.

Thank you for reading until the end.

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Profile
Junko Kiryu | Communication Trainer
Nationally certified career consultant.
US ABH certified hypnotherapist.
I have stood in training settings for 30 years, reaching a total of 150,000 people, mainly in corporations.
Most "failure to communicate" is a problem of attitude, not words.
I deliver that realization through my articles.
Author of "Kokoro no Switch" (Heart Switch)

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