Why You Still Feel Unsettled Even After Deciding to Trust

[Psychological Techniques for Organizing Emotions]: Part 14

I will respect my child's choices.
Even though I decided that, a few days later I feel anxious and want to interfere again.

Is this really okay?
I said I would watch over them, but is it really okay to say nothing?

Even though I decided to trust, my feelings keep going back and forth.

I should be calmer than before, but...

Even though I should be, my heart is still wavering.

Sometimes I feel a little disappointed in myself for that.

[The Mechanism Behind the Wavering]

Trusting isn't a 'once you decide, it's over!' kind of thing.

When the situation changes, your feelings change too.

If your child's behavior changes, both relief and anxiety will show their faces again.

This isn't because your will is weak.
It's because the future is not yet determined.

The act of trusting is also about 'continuing to accept an ambiguous state'.

[Why Uncertain Times Are Difficult]

This is where the concept of 'tolerance for ambiguity' comes in.

When a situation remains unclear, people tend to rush to conclusions unconsciously.

If things are okay, I want to feel relieved.
If things are dangerous, I want to fix them right now.

But career paths and growth don't produce results immediately.

How much can you stay in that 'not yet known' time in between?
That is the true nature of the wavering.

[Wavering Is Not a Bad Thing]

Wavering means you still care.

If you were completely indifferent, no anxiety would arise.

So, you don't have to see yourself as a failure for wavering.

You are just in the middle of trusting.
That intermediate stage is where you are right now.

[Today's Exercise]

When anxiety returns,
you don't have to find an answer immediately.

Try saying this in your heart:

Still in the middle.

Still in the middle of judging.

Still in the middle of growing.

Don't try to secure relief.
Don't try to erase anxiety either.

Just leave the word 'middle' as it is.

Then, even without drawing a clear line, the feeling of being able to stay here in the present might return a little bit.

[Summary]

Even if you decide to trust, the wavering won't disappear.

That is because you are facing this seriously.

It is not easy to be in an ambiguous time.

But when you can allow yourself to be in the middle, trust will quietly take shape little by little.

Today, don't deny yourself for wavering.
If you can do that much, it's enough.

[Next Preview]

Next time is finally the last episode.
While looking back at the wavering and anxiety up to this point,
I will organize the strengths you already possess.

[Information]

The series has reached its final stages.

The fact that you have read this far
is proof that you are facing this seriously.

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