[My First Note] I thought it was a darkness I could never escape.

Nice to meet you.
I am Usagi Kokoro.

In the past, I could not think of my life as happy.

2 million yen in debt.
Cohabitation ended right before marriage.
Busy at work and lost all self-confidence.
I had dreams, but I was lost in my career.
Feeling depressed comparing myself to others on social media.
My younger sister was a shut-in at home.
My mother spent every day worrying about my sister.

Is my life so far from happiness?

I had been thinking this for several years.
It felt like a darkness I could never escape, and every day was like hell.
"Will my life ever be happy?"
I always thought that.

My studies were about average, but I thought,
"What should I do now to be happy?"
"I have to work hard while I'm young."
I read over 100 self-help books and tried to imitate the actions of successful people on social media.
However, I was still in the darkness.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be happy at all.

At one point, these words appeared before me.

"Is it because you are trying so hard that it isn't coming true?"

"Is it because you keep thinking you have to try even harder?"

Naturally, I felt uncomfortable reading self-help books and comparing myself to others on social media.


I had a hospital stay scheduled for treatment, so
even though I didn't have to take time off, I took a break from work,
and after being discharged, I didn't return to the apartment I shared, but went back to my parents' house.


"Stop trying so hard."
"Do nothing."
"Think about things you like."
"Praise yourself even if you have nothing."


For the time being, I did nothing.

Then, strangely, my condition naturally improved.


Before I knew it, my life had taken a turn for the better.


I paid off my debt immediately. I started building assets.
I broke up with him and became someone who doesn't depend on men.
A daily life with peace of mind.
My intractable disease is also heading toward recovery, and I am healthier than before.
My sister returned to work.
My mother started a new hobby.

Above all, I am having a great time now.
I was so happy. I felt as if the world was warmly and gently wrapped in love.


I just stopped trying so hard.
I naturally started to like myself.


I remembered that when I was stroked with the words "You're working hard, aren't you?" back then, tears came out naturally.
I had been trying too hard and reached my limit.

The "blank space" of doing nothing made me happy.
The feeling of affirming myself gave me peace of mind.

If you are trying too hard,
I want to gently draw close to you.

If you are crushed by anxiety about the future,
I want to give you a tight hug.

Having worries is proof that you are facing your life squarely.

I want to share with everyone on note how I was able to escape from the darkness.

"How to be happy without trying so hard."

I would be happy if this could be a starting point for someone.
Usagi Kokoro.