Why does the number of likes on a matching app decrease? A thorough explanation of the unknown mechanisms and reasons!

“Wait, it’s lower than it was yesterday...”

That indescribable feeling when you look at someone you're interested in's profile and see their like count has gone down.
It’s a mix of anxiety, frustration, and a little bit of sadness.

“Did they lose popularity?”
“Did they start dating someone?”
“Did they start disliking me?”

All sorts of speculations start running through your head, and before you know it, you’ve been staring at that profile screen for about five minutes. Haha

But wait, please hold on a second.

The reason the likes decreased is almost certainly not that.
In fact, if you get caught up in the highs and lows without knowing how the app works, you’re really wasting your time.

I’ve been doing dating and marriage hunting for about 15 years (so long! Too long, even for me! Haha), and I’ve wasted so much mental energy on this “like count problem” over and over again.

So today, I’m going to turn that mechanism upside down and explain it all.
Once you finish reading, I’m sure you’ll feel a weight lifted off your shoulders, thinking, “Oh, so that’s what it was.”

First, a major premise: it is normal for the like count to “decrease.”

To start with the basics, the number of likes on a matching app isn’t something that just keeps increasing.

Most apps are designed to only display likes received in the “last 30 days.”
In other words, likes received 31 days ago automatically disappear from the count the moment today begins.

There are so many people who don’t know this.

Pairs and Omiai are basically based on this “30-day tally” method.
Tapple is even more volatile, as it only counts the “last 7 days,” so the numbers fluctuate even more drastically.

So, when you see “It was 150 yesterday, but it’s 140 today!”, in most cases, it simply means that the likes from more than 10 days ago have expired.

It doesn’t mean the other person has become less attractive.
It doesn’t mean their feelings for you have cooled down either.
It’s just the system quietly deleting old likes.

Just knowing this makes a world of difference.

By the way, since the tallying rules vary quite a bit depending on the app, just grasping the specifications of the app you are using will significantly reduce unnecessary anxiety.
If you are curious about which app suits you best, please refer to the article below as well.👇

There are a total of 4 reasons why likes decrease.

1. The counting period has expired (this accounts for 90%)

As I mentioned earlier, likes that exceed the 30-day or 7-day limit disappear.
This accounts for almost all reasons for the decrease.

2. The person who sent the like has withdrawn

The number also decreases if someone who sent a like to that person leaves the app.
Especially with apps like with and Tapple, the specification is that the number is subtracted the moment a withdrawal occurs.

This is a pattern where the number decreases even though the other person hasn't done anything.
It's completely collateral damage, right? lol

3. A match has been established

Some apps remove likes from the like count once they are converted into a match.
In other words, you can also interpret a decrease in the number of likes as someone matching and moving forward.

Far from "losing popularity," it can actually be a sign that things are "steadily moving."

4. App-side specification changes or bugs

Rarely, the numbers may fluctuate due to management algorithm adjustments or server maintenance.
If you feel like "it suddenly dropped drastically," you can suspect this.

The point that "decreased = no chance" is not necessarily true

This is really important, so please listen.

The conditions required for the number of likes to decrease are not "lack of charm" or "lack of motivation."

If they get busy with work and their login frequency drops, they won't receive new likes, so the number will decrease.
The number will also go down if they are saving their appeals to others in order to focus on interacting with someone they are interested in (that is, you).

In other words, you can also view a decrease in the number of likes as a sign that they are acting sincerely.

If you only look at the numbers, you end up missing these important perspectives.

So, what should you look at?

There are three indicators that are much more honest than the number of likes.

1. Login status

If the "within 24 hours" or "online" status is still displayed, it is proof that they still have interest in the app.
It is much more worrying if they haven't logged in for several days.

② The content of the messages

Not just the speed of replies, but "do they ask questions?", "do they remember what we talked about before?", and "do they talk about themselves?".
If these three things are continuing, you can consider it a sign of interest.

③ Their reaction when the topic of meeting up comes up

If they take concrete action by saying, "That sounds good, I'm free on this day or that day," it's the real deal.
If they brush it off with "maybe some other time," you might want to reconsider.

The number of likes is just a "past tally result," but these three things reflect the "current reality."

Three actions you tend to do but are absolutely NG

As someone who has experienced this, I want to say this loudly.

❌ Asking "Your number of likes has gone down, hasn't it?"

Don't do this.
From the other person's perspective, they'll think, "Has this person been monitoring my numbers?"
It's a spell that invites an instant fade-out.

❌ Sending follow-up messages one after another when you haven't received a reply

You get anxious because the number of likes has decreased, and you end up sending messages like "How have you been lately?", "Are you busy?", or "I'm interested in you."
I understand the feeling.
I understand, but it's counterproductive.
At the point where you haven't received a reply, the other person isn't matching that pace.
If you pile on messages there, you'll be seen as clingy.

❌ Deciding on your own that "it's over" and pulling back

The pattern where you assume, "The number of likes went down, so there must be someone else," and you fade out yourself.
I've done this so many times I don't even know how many. lol
But 90% of the cause is just "the count expiring after 30 days."
It's a real waste to give up based on assumptions.

A 1-week practice plan to "not worry too much"

From here on, I will break down concrete actions to avoid being swayed by the number of likes into a one-week plan.

[Mon/Tue] Two days to organize the current situation

First, please check when you last interacted with the person you are currently interested in.
Also, take a look at that person's login status.
Starting today, stop looking at the number of likes.
Don't check it.
That's all.

[Wed/Thu] Two days to polish your profile

Use the time you spend looking at the other person's like count to improve your own profile instead.

The ultimate trio for photos is 'natural light, a smile, and taken by someone else.'
If you have selfies that are overly filtered, replace them immediately.
The worst thing is to have a gap between your profile and reality when you actually meet.

For your self-introduction, try summarizing your 'hobbies, how you spend your days off, and what kind of time you want to spend together' in 200-300 characters.
You don't need to overthink it.
If you write it as if you were sending a LINE message to a friend, it will sound natural.

[Fri] The day to use 'profile views'

Look at the profile of someone you're interested in again and leave a profile view.
That's all you need to do.
Since your presence will remain in their 'profile view list,' it serves as a trigger for them to remember you.
It's the easiest way to promote yourself for free.

[Sat/Sun] Two days to increase your logins

Since weekends are when there are more users, try to be conscious of logging in three times: morning, noon, and night.
The app's system judges 'frequent visitors' as 'active users' and displays them higher in search results.
You don't have to do anything else.
Just log in.

The 'Things to Stop' and 'Things to Continue' list

Things to stop list

• Checking the other person's like count every day

• Asking the other person why their like count decreased

• Deciding it's 'over' based on changes in numbers

• Sending follow-up messages when you haven't received a reply

Things to continue list

• Facing messages to the other person sincerely once a day

• Making logging in a habit for morning, noon, and night

• Regularly leaving profile views for people you are interested in

• Regularly reviewing your own profile photos

In conclusion

It's hard not to worry about the number of likes since it's visible.
Numbers are easy to understand, so we can't help but try to read meaning into them.

However, the numbers on the app only reflect the 'total results from the past 30 days'.
They are neither a measure of feelings toward you nor a barometer of popularity.

What matters is how the other person is handling their interaction with you at this very moment.
That is all.

Try using the time you spend looking at like counts to write a single message carefully instead.
That will definitely lead to better results.

Look at the person, not the numbers.
I believe that is the simplest answer to finding a truly great connection on an app.