Encouragement and Me

First of all, what is "encouragement"?

Toshinori Iwai defines encouragement as "giving the vitality to overcome difficulties."
It is a bit of a stiff expression, but some teachers also describe it as "encouragement," or giving the energy to tackle challenges.

In life, both adults and children run into various problems.
Small things like having an argument with someone.
Work problems, money problems, parent-child issues, marital issues.
Life is full of challenges.
I wonder if there is anyone who doesn't have any challenges.

Encouragement is "enabling someone to have the desire to tackle" those challenges.

Because you believe in yourself and believe in those around you, you can work together with others to tackle challenges that would be difficult to face alone.

This is essential for living in society.
It is necessary for adults, children, and even pets.

My encounter with "encouragement"

My encounter with encouragement was through this famous book,
"The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.
Being recommended to read this was the starting point.

I was recommended to read it while on maternity leave after the birth of my second child.

"A mom's smile is the best!!" was a burden

Even though I wanted children so much that I underwent fertility treatment, as a result of being obsessed with breastfeeding, I became depressed, parenting was exhausting, and I felt that working was easier. That was my honest impression.💦
I could be a good person at work, and I would be excited on days when I had overtime and could dump the evening childcare on my husband (oops).

I thought about parenting classes, but...
A mom's smile is the best!
Moms should be smiling too!
I hated classes like that.

Why do I have to carry everything on my shoulders?
Why am I the only one who is only allowed to smile?

Anyway, I had a huge aversion to sparkling, perfect moms.😂
Why can't I do it?
Why, why, why...?

I get irritated because my child doesn't listen to me.
I'm busy because that person at work doesn't do their job properly.
If only the other person would change!

I was just demanding things from others.

At the same time,
A mother should do this,
That's what a mother should do,
I also had many such assumptions.

The encouragement study group that became the catalyst for change

At that time, I learned that an "encouragement study group" was being held in my neighborhood, and I started participating.

A place to speak not as a mother,
not as a company employee,
but as "myself."

By facing myself there, I realized that it is okay to value my own feelings more.
At the same time, I also realized the importance of valuing the other person's feelings and what I can do for them.✨

From there, I started tea ceremony again and began studying life organizing, which allowed me to enjoy the things I want to do.

My relationships with my children (not just with my own children, but also with my own parents) have become much easier.
My relationship with my husband has also improved significantly. We have been together since we were university students, but I think it was around this time that we truly began to trust each other...
At work, both socializing and my tasks have become easier. Nothing has physically changed, but I experienced firsthand how the world you see changes depending on how you perceive it.

I would be happy if more people could learn about the encouragement that became the catalyst for me to get my life in order.