Becoming a Child Episode 527: At the park, I was taught that communication is about sharing our troubles with each other.
Today is Monday.
I'm spending the day with elementary school students who have a substitute holiday for Saturday classes.
At our house, in our secret base,
someone always shows up on days like this.
After finishing one job in the morning and coming home,
I found the cute kids taking a nap before noon. lol
One of the kids who came over brought a bento,
so I thought, if I make bento for the others,
we could go on a picnic! ♡ That's what I thought,
and so this mother busily made some simple bento.
A weekday afternoon.
I decided to drive to a place we don't usually go on a day we don't usually go out.
With the atmosphere of a field trip bus,
we arrived at the park in the afternoon, full of excitement.
The autumn leaves were beautiful,
and even with the sunlight, the chilly air
felt pleasant.
We had a bento time on the picnic sheet right away.
Eating outside makes even simple bento taste delicious ♡
Then, I went to the car to get something I'd forgotten,
finished one phone call,
and when I returned to the sheet, only one person was there.
Lying down.
S-chan from the neighborhood.
When I asked her what was wrong,
she said, "My sisters and I got into a fight while on the seesaw."
The younger sister got sulky and is wandering around alone,
and the older sister went to go get her. So...
In times like these, if a mother intervenes,
nothing good ever comes of it!!
So I decided to wait while chatting with S-chan.
Watching from afar, the younger sister hit the older sister.
The older sister didn't hit back; she just listened.
According to S-chan,
・Maybe she didn't like being ignored (younger sister)
・Maybe she didn't like being laughed at for her pimple (older sister)
And so on, things came out. Hmm, hmm.
How simple and easy to understand.
I tried asking S-chan a question.
"S, you get sulky sometimes too, right?"
"How do you feel when that happens?"
Then, she, who is like my own child (4th grade),
said, "I just want to be alone."
I see.
Maybe the younger sister was wandering around
because she felt that way too.
But the older sister is serious, you see.
She wants to solve it right away. She doesn't like ambiguity.
My brother often tells me,
"How can you two fight so much when one is in 8th grade and the other in 2nd grade?"
I talk about that while laughing with S-chan, and we wait.
I wish adults could do this too.
That's what I thought. I felt it strongly.
Adults get sulky, too.
In both work and private life,
I often see things with that thought in mind.
In those situations, I become S-chan.
But no adult
ever tries to ask questions.
It's a philosophy that's the opposite of 'everyone is different, everyone is good,' where people think their own opinion is right
and exclude those who don't agree.
Objectively speaking, there's a lot to think about.
But the people involved (the adults)
act as if they are each right
and won't listen to others' opinions.
I was finding such situations painful.
That was my Monday.
The afternoon park is pleasant, but
my heart wasn't clear.
S-chan said,
"It's getting a bit late, so I'm going to go check on them!!" and
stood up quickly and ran off.
I thought it would be nice if this behavior of the children
existed in the adult world, too.
When complaints arise,
when comparing yourself to someone else or a company,
when ignoring others,
when sulking,
when communication goes wrong,
you should just consult a third party.
If you can tell each other, "I didn't like this,"
then you can say, "I see."
"Thank you for telling me."
"And thank you for the objective perspective."
Wouldn't that make your heart feel lighter?
I feel that the worries and anxieties that get stuck in our chests
are usually about human relationships.
It's something children do naturally.
It's something I did naturally when I was a child.
Why is it that
we can't do it anymore when we become adults?
Pride?
Comparison?
Jealousy?
Hatred?
Do those feelings get in the way?
My older sister, who is a 'home security guard' (school refuser),
took in all those feelings from adults (school teachers),
and one day, she just suddenly
couldn't go anymore. She lost her voice.
But she is chasing after her younger sister and listening to her.
Did they resolve it?
Time passed, and from the other side,
the sisters and S-chan
came running back to the sheet.
They are laughing.
After that, without me even asking,
they reported, "This happened, that happened," and
"Let's play tag!"
In the end, they were covered in sweat, running and laughing,
and said, "Let's go home now."
Talking, understanding, and moving their bodies
leads to a state where they can laugh.
As an adult being taught by children,
I find it easier to be with children after all,
and I'm becoming bad with adults.
Becoming a child, I...
feel that the things I want to value as my core
have become clearer.
What is this feeling of being stifled...
Worrying, being troubled, feeling weak,
that's the same for both children and adults.
Our bodies keep getting bigger.
Big people are adults,
but I feel like the invisible parts remain children.
Maybe everyone's heart is still young,
is what I think.
Then, the people I'm not good with,
the vibe of people who say 'Shall I teach you?',
people who speak ill of others,
people who are only unreasonable,
people who don't treat you with care,
people who sulk,
it becomes a strange sensation where the things I'm not good with become 'cute'.
The reason I was able to think,
'Let's go on a picnic with the children♡',
is thanks to the unsung heroes on the ground,
my colleagues who contacted me after my morning work.
There are adults who are like children.
Like the scene I saw at the park this afternoon,
not just the people directly involved,
not just those in positions of power,
but having a third party watch over and support them objectively.
This overlaps with the philosophy of Sana Childcare.
Don't leave anyone alone.
Convey the voices of those who cannot speak up.
Sometimes, I am a complaint handling window.
It's okay for adults to sulk, too.
Please let it all out.
Even though all I can do is just accept it.
When adults laugh, children laugh too.
Communication isn't something to overthink,
it starts from sharing our troubles...
I want to learn from the children and put that into practice.
● General Incorporated Association 'Becoming a Child' HP
https://sana-hoiku.com/
※ Content on 'Becoming a Child' STORY & Thoughts
● 'Becoming a Child' ch
https://youtube.com/channel/UCUo-ARGbmXfZV11-dDN7itw
※ Sharing words of support so no one is left alone.
● 'Becoming a Child' Online Salon
https://www.facebook.com/groups/859892811096098
※ A place to share the thoughts of mothers and children
※ It's free, so anyone can join
● 'Becoming a Child' Official LINE Account
https://lin.ee/2Mzcbmt1F
※ Regularly delivering 'Becoming a Child' initiatives
#TherapeuticEducation
#Childcare
#Children
#Kids
#PeopleWithDisabilities
#ThinkingAboutDiversity
#HowMyAssumptionsChanged
#WhatChildrenTaughtMe