Delusional Diary June 26th 'The Stud Shogun'
8:48 Arrived at work.
For some reason, everyone is passionately exchanging opinions on a proposal regarding avocados. What is the outcome of the deliberations by these reliable culinary warriors who rack their brains over daily menus?
"Peruvian ones are cheap but small. I really prefer the Mexican ones, don't you?" "To begin with, cheap things get bruised because everyone picks them up and squeezes them hard! The best strategy is to be bold and choose the expensive ones." "Exactly! I'm looking for one that's ripe, so I even pray, 'Please be soft!' Old ladies, for instance, squeeze them so hard they crush them."
In the end, the central consensus among everyone was, "It's just that they get squeezed so much."
Then, hearing who knows what and how, our department manager forcefully interjected into the conversation.
"Well, you ladies are also weak to pressure, aren't you? For some reason, that's just how it is. Speaking of being pushy, the person I admire is Korekiyo Takahashi. The Minister of Finance. That man was aggressive in both fiscal policy and the other kind! They say he had his wife and mistress living together, and even bought geishas all over the place. Well, that wouldn't fly in today's world, though. If we're talking about Finance Ministers, Masayoshi Matsukata was also very pushy! He was such a womanizer that he had over 20 children. When Emperor Meiji asked him how many children he had, he replied, 'I've forgotten, so I'll go home and count them.' That's the kind of guy he was! Well, it's not okay now. It's not okay in today's world. But even if it's just for one day! I admire that way of life."
To this, everyone let out a collective sound of displeasure, saying "Oh," "Hmm," and "I see." They were about to wrap up the conversation and leave. The manager, as if to push them back, stood firmly in their path and said,
"Well, but the person who was pushier than anyone else was the 11th Shogun, Tokugawa Ienari! He had a mountain of concubines and fathered 53 children! He had incredible stamina! He was so dedicated that he even took an aphrodisiac made from powdered fur seal penis and testicles! Also known as the 'Fur Seal Shogun'! The 'Stud Shogun'! Stud Shogun, stud, stud... It's not okay now, it's not okay now. But this is my romance! I can't just say pretty things! I want to live like that, even if it's just for one day. A man's true desire. Well, to be honest."
Ignoring the manager's attempt to hold them back and his "one-day stud romance," everyone had already returned to their seats and begun working with expressionless faces.
However, when the previous topic was resumed later,
"If you like someone so pushy, perhaps we should appoint the manager as 'One-Day Avocado,' like a 'One-Day Mayor,' and have all of us and the old ladies squeeze him so hard our fingers sink in, gouge out that hard 'pit' and throw it away to finish him off, and then return him to his usual self!"
Everyone, with very scary faces, unanimously concluded.
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