The '5-Minute Night Routine' That Saved Me on Nights I Lost My Temper
A gentle night habit to reclaim your self-esteem and 'yourself'
The time you take a breather on the sofa after the kids are asleep.
Don't you ever have those nights where the room is deathly quiet and you're suddenly hit with a wave of guilt?
'I lost my temper again.'
'Why couldn't I have been kinder?'
'Why couldn't I have said it differently?'
The 'self-loathing time' after running through the day.
I used to repeat those kinds of nights over and over.
Even though my head wants to think, 'Some days are just like that,'
my heart insists on labeling me a 'bad mom.'
The morning the kids cried.
The evening I got frustrated and spoke too harshly.
The time before bed when I was too tired to really listen.
In every instance, I'm filled with regret, thinking, 'I could have handled that differently.'
At times like that, I suddenly remembered
what I learned about 'self-awareness' in my student days.
The idea that when your emotions are in a mess,
just observing 'what state I am in right now'
can help calm your heart a little.
'I'm in self-rejection mode right now.'
The moment I think that, I can become a little more level-headed.
So, I created my own 'night routine'.
Following my post from yesterday, this is another article about how to cherish yourself.
It's like a small reset button to calm your emotions.
I put this together hoping it reaches other moms who feel the same way.
🌙 My 5 Night Routines
1. Say one thing you 'accomplished today' out loud.
→ Self-esteem grows from the 'practice of looking at what you did right.'
Even if it's small, 'You did your best putting them to bed' or 'You managed to run the laundry' is enough.
Words to 'give yourself a checkmark for the day.'
2. Say 'thank you' to your child (it's okay if they're asleep)
→ For example, 'Thank you for being healthy today.'
Putting it into words makes it easier to organize your own emotions.
It helps your brain and heart settle down a little.
3. A little skinship, like a hug or holding hands
→ Physical touch releases the 'love hormone' (oxytocin).
Feeling a 'connection' before bed is something both parent and child need.
4. Tell yourself, 'You did a good job'
→ Before waiting for someone else to say it, comfort yourself.
Tell yourself over and over, 'I was doing just fine.'
5. Put your smartphone a little further away
→ Instead of comparing yourself to other moms, take time to cherish 'the you of today.'
Before you sleep, make it a time for a deep breath for your heart.
The first night I started this routine,
my tears flowed a little more gently than usual.
The next morning, while I wasn't perfect,
when I saw my child's face, I was able to say 'Good morning' naturally.
And, little by little,
the feeling of not blaming 'the me who loses my temper' too much has returned.
When it comes to parenting, it's easy to only remember the things we couldn't do.
But in reality, it's important to truly acknowledge the 'me' who did her best again today.
Instead of trying to reset your emotions,
by 'truly feeling' them, your heart begins to recover a little.
I hope your night, as you read this, becomes a little warmer too🌙
I would be happy if this piece gently conveys that there is a way to face yourself with kindness rather than blame.
💬 Next time, I plan to write about a somewhat surprising 'true identity of mine'.
Likes and follows are a huge encouragement☺️