What is packed into "cleanliness"

Cleanliness was something that sometimes exhausted me,
and sometimes gave me peace of mind.
That is what it was.

I don't think I was ever that conscious of cleanliness until I started raising children.
I wasn't naturally a neat freak or someone who loved cleanliness,
and when I participated in a volunteer camp in Cambodia as a single person, I even lived a life where I slept in a sleeping bag and couldn't properly wash my hair.
Perhaps because of that experience, I had the belief that people could survive even if they weren't clean.

However, from the day I gave birth to my child, a mission called "cleanliness" came rushing at me one after another.

Wiping my nipples before breastfeeding, and disinfecting my sutured perineum every time I went to the bathroom.
While keeping my own body clean, I had to keep the baby clean.
Sterilizing baby bottles, changing diapers up to 15 times a day, changing clothes, and bathing.

This child's cleanliness depends on you!

It felt as if someone was saying that to me.
And that makes sense, because keeping someone other than yourself clean requires a considerable amount of effort.

Once the baby phase passed and my child started attending nursery school, there was something that challenged me to a battle. Yes, all kinds of viruses.

There are about 40 types of viruses registered in the nursery school's contact app.

As if to say, "Take that, and here's another one," my child keeps bringing viruses home.

The most formidable enemy is, after all, the vomiting and diarrhea virus.
Just when I think they've started coughing in the middle of the night, they vomit like a Merlion, and in an instant, the futon and sheets are ruined.
When they vomit while I'm holding them, both my clothes and the child's clothes get dirty, and I feel as if time has stopped for a moment.

At such times, I feel as if I am covered and dominated by invisible viruses.
And I think, "I want to take a bath quickly." This is probably the cleanliness I seek.

A shower on such a night brings a sense of exhilaration and relief, as if the viruses are being washed away down the drain.

So, cleanliness does exhaust me, but it is also something that saves my heart.

◎◎◎

The other day, my 3-year-old daughter coughed while eating.
At that moment, she instinctively brought both hands in front of her mouth.
As I rubbed her back, I watched her, thinking how cute she looked covering her mouth with her small, chubby hands.

Then, her 5-year-old brother, who was sitting in front of her, said,
"Little sister, that's not it! You do it like this," and showed her how to bring his arm in front of his mouth.

I asked my son, "Why is your little sister's way wrong? Why is that way better?" Then,

"You see, if you use your hands, your palms get covered in spit, right? Then, when you hold hands with your friends, germs get on their hands too. Also, germs get on the places you touch with those hands, and the people who touch them might get sick," my son said.

When I was 5, did I ever care that much about germs or viruses? I have absolutely no memory of it, though.

However, my five-year-old son wears a mask when going to school, and every morning at the entrance, he has his temperature taken and his hands sanitized before heading to his classroom. This has now become his daily routine.
I am sure that covering his mouth with his arm when he coughs or sneezes is also something he was taught at daycare.

I was not the only one fighting against the virus.

I realized that my son also has a daily life spent with the virus, and time spent with others while being careful about it.

At the same time, I was impressed that even such a small child thinks about the people around him.

Therefore, while actions to maintain cleanliness certainly involve exhaustion and effort,

I believe they are also filled with consideration for the people we spend time with.