How my wife encourages me.
Sense. It's a word I like.
I don't get depressed, but I do get tired. My work is often backed up, and my schedule is usually packed, so I get tired both physically and mentally.
Fortunately, I inherited a mild-mannered nature from my parents, so I don't get depressed even when I'm tired. Because of that, no matter how much fatigue builds up, I never find myself unable to get up the next morning, nor do I ever feel like I have no motivation or that there's nothing I can do.
My wife observes me more than anyone else when I come home, and she sometimes notices that my expression is darker than usual or that my voice is quieter than normal. It's interesting, and I think this is common to all married couples, but men don't notice the subtleties of their wives' hearts. On the other hand, women never miss the trivial changes in their husbands. Men and women are different at the cellular level.
It seems that wives around the world, if their husband's expression is dark, his voice is quiet, or his back is hunched, will sense that "Oh, he must have had something unpleasant happen outside." That said, in my wife's case, she doesn't ask things like "Are you tired?" or "Did something bad happen?" She says nothing unnecessary and just prepares dinner.
According to my wife, if something truly unbearable happens to me, I start talking about it on my own. Conversely, she seems to recognize that anything I don't consult her about by saying "Hey, listen to this" is trivial, and that I will likely resolve it on my own or come to terms with it in my heart, so she thinks, "I'll just leave him be."
So, when I want to consult my wife about something, I say, "Hey, listen to this." Then my wife listens to me. Of course, the reverse is also true. There is a teaching that when someone consults others about their worries, they aren't looking for a solution, but just seeking empathy, and I think that is correct, and my wife does that for me too.
In that sense, there is a phrase my wife says at the end after my consultation is over.
It is my wife's way of encouraging me.
When I hear those words, I feel strangely praised and feel like I can do my best. Those words tickle my heart in an exquisite way, and despite being simple, they often serve as the perfect spark for my heart.
So, what does my wife finally say after I say "Hey, listen to this" when I'm tired, and she finishes listening to me saying "Uh-huh, uh-huh"?
"Since you have nothing but sense, you have no choice but to do your best, right?"
I really can't win against my wife.
<Afterword> Although I'm not exactly called a social misfit, my wife says things like, "You only have sense," or "Sense is your only redeeming quality." Every time she says that, we both burst into laughter, and I say, "That's right, I only have sense, don't I?" Then my wife says, "Since you only have sense, it's natural that you have to work harder than others, right?" and I laugh and say, "I only have sense, don't I?" She is an amazing wife who boosts my self-esteem and sends me back out into the world. Thank you for reading until the end today as well.
[Related] See here for more on married life