The story of how I was told I 'passed' in my first words during my marriage proposal to my mother-in-law.

"My mom is a witch, you know."

Having decided to get married, that was what my wife told me in our living room before I met her parents. It was February 2019, and Sapporo was covered in deep snow.

"Is your mother a witch?"

"Yeah, a witch."

"Wait, does she have some kind of witch-like powers?"

"No, not like that. She looks like a witch. And her personality is witch-like, too. She has a better eye for people than anyone else, so you might want to be prepared."

"Oh, I see. So she's not a real witch?"

"Yeah, but she's as close to a witch as it gets."

Hmm, I see. A witch, huh. Seriously? Witches still exist? I never expected to be told "My mom is a witch, you know" before asking for her parents' blessing for our marriage.

We decided to get married after zero days of dating. Well, to be precise, we didn't register our marriage immediately. The truth is, we decided to get married the day we started dating, made spare keys, and went to buy an engagement ring, but I still had to meet her parents.

"My dad doesn't really matter, so meet my mom first. She'll be the one to judge, so you can meet my dad after that."

"I didn't know that kind of thing happened."

"Yeah."

A witch, huh. What kind of person is she? A mother whose own daughter calls her a witch. I wondered if she was a scary witch, but I wasn't that worried.

I am a salesman. At the time, I was meeting business owners all over Hokkaido and selling services with passion. So, I have confidence in my communication skills during first meetings. It doesn't matter if the other person is a witch. I am a battle-hardened (self-proclaimed) salesman representing the human world—no, the Muggles.

"Are you sure it's okay to put your dad last?"

"Yeah, it's fine. My dad is a bit of a klutz. More importantly, you have to conquer the witch first."

So her dad is a klutz...
I feel kind of sorry for him.

With that settled, we set a date to meet the witch—or rather, my mother-in-law. It was March. Sapporo was a little warmer, but it was still snowing. The temperature was around 0°C.


We decided to have the showdown with the witch at the tea lounge of the Century Royal Hotel, next to Sapporo Station. Choosing the right location is important. It was the Tea Lounge Fontaine.

On the day of the meeting, my wife and I arrived at the Century Royal Hotel early and were sitting at a window seat in the lounge, chatting. What kind of witch would appear? I was dressed in a white shirt and black pants. I wanted to face the witch with sincerity. Basic attire is best.

As we sat there talking about how "spring is almost here, blah blah blah," my wife's gaze shifted away from me. Then she said:

"Oh, she's here. Long time no see!"

Behind me to the left, maybe about 10 meters away.
"Click, click, click, click..."
I could hear the sound of heels. She was here.

(Alright, what kind of witch will she be...)

I am in battle mode.
I am even ready to cast 'Expecto Patronum' if I have to. Bring it on. March in Sapporo. The lounge of the Century Royal Hotel. I can hear the moody background music.

I looked back to my left.
When I turned my gaze, she was indeed there.

Her hair was black and permed.
It grew beautifully to just below her chest.

She wore black heels,
and a tight-fitting black dress.

I had heard she was over 60, but she looked young and beautiful. The area around her eyes was slightly darkened with makeup, but I could see traces of my wife in her.

Her expression, which I thought was blank at first, was actually one of excitement at seeing her daughter after a long time. It was also an expression that showed consideration for me.

I felt her gaze was a bit snake-like.
I see! She really is a witch!

Nice to meet you. My name is [Name], and I am currently dating your daughter. It is a pleasure to meet you.

I stood up and bowed.
In times like these, the best defense is a good offense! Expelliarmus!
I am a self-proclaimed battle-hardened salesman. Or rather, it goes without saying, but I was the one who initiated the greeting.

...

The witch, or rather, my mother-in-law, did not answer.
Instead, she scanned me from my toes to the tips of my hair with her snake-like eyes and declared:

...

Hmm, you pass.

“Uh... p-passed?”
I replied with a blank expression.

“Yes, you seem sincere. You said you were getting married right away, so I was worried about what kind of person you were, but you're fine. You pass.”

(P-passed, huh...)

It felt like being told “Gryffindor!!!” by the Sorting Hat. I was relieved. I had been told I “passed” in the very first words of our first meeting. ...Does that happen? I guess it does. Wait, does it??

We sat down and ordered drinks.
My wife was talking to her mother. They must have had a lot of pent-up things to talk about. They didn't mind me, but I had to nod along. I listened to them, saying “uh-huh, uh-huh.”

It had been about an hour and a half. I thought it would end without anything special happening, as if everything had been judged by that first impression. But, at the end, I was asked a question. By the witch.

“By the way, [Name]-kun, all your ties with women you've dated in the past are completely cut, right?”

What kind of question is that to ask!
I'm being tested!

I answered.
“Oh, yes. Of course.”

That wasn't a lie. Of course it wasn't.

“Hmm, well, that's good then.”

Once things settled down, my wife looked out the window and said,

“Oh! A crow!”

“Oh, really! How cute!”

A, a crow...? Is it cute? Is it really?
They must be an animal-loving family.
Thinking that, I finished my greeting.


Three years have passed since I married my wife. To avoid any misunderstanding, I'll write this: for these three years, the witch—or rather, my mother-in-law—has treated me as kindly as if I were her own son. She just seems like a witch, but she's a perfectly good person. Thank you for everything, always.