Memories of 'Ryoma ga Yuku,' which gave me courage after I was expelled from university.

"If you're a man, you should read 'Ryoma ga Yuku'."

I grew up being told that by my father when I was a little kid.

At the time, my parents' house had paperback copies of 'Ryoma ga Yuku' written by Ryotaro Shiba. It's that historical novel about Sakamoto Ryoma. The paperback series consists of 8 volumes in total, but we only had up to volume 6 at home.

The 'Ryoma ga Yuku' we had at home didn't have covers; they were just left lying around carelessly, bare and light brown. They were a bit stained and dirty.

I learned later that the 'Ryoma ga Yuku' we had at home was something my father had received from his best friend. That friend also passed away from cancer over a decade ago. They say my father, who never cries, pounded on the coffin at the funeral and collapsed to his knees in tears, so I suppose that's just what a best friend is.

"If you're a man, you should read 'Ryoma ga Yuku'."

I grew up being told that, but I never actually read it until I turned 24. Because it's long. All 8 volumes. And we only had up to volume 6 at home. Plus, as a child, I didn't understand the appeal of historical novels.

In 2010, when I was 20 years old, my father and I were delighted when it was decided that the NHK Taiga drama 'Ryomaden' would be broadcast.

"Dad! Masaharu Fukuyama is playing Ryoma!"
"Oh, is that so? The image is a bit different, isn't it?"

Every week, my father and I watched it glued to the screen.
Although I hadn't read 'Ryoma ga Yuku,' I knew what kind of person Sakamoto Ryoma was from Japanese history class and from what my father had taught me. Watching Ryomaden made it even clearer.

I decided to read 'Ryoma ga Yuku' when I was 24. It was triggered by being expelled from university and kicked out of my parents' house. Please refer to the following article for the circumstances behind my expulsion from university.

When I ran away from home, I packed as much as I could into a large carry-on suitcase, including clothes and suits. Just as I thought, "Alright... I'm all set," my eyes caught the bookshelf in my room. The tattered 'Ryoma ga Yuku' books were lined up.

"If you're a man, you should read 'Ryoma ga Yuku'."

I remember my father's words.
That's right, I hadn't read it. This is a good opportunity. I'll read it.
No, I have to read it. Dad said so.

I squeezed the tattered 'Ryoma ga Yuku' into the remaining space in my carry-on suitcase. Six paperback books. And so, I left home.

I will leave the details of my running away from home for another time, but I started reading 'Ryoma ga Yuku.' The season was late autumn. Autumn in Sapporo ends quickly. It was cold.

Once I started reading, I realized how interesting it was.

'Oh, this is interesting!?'

So, I devoured it.


It starts from Sakamoto Ryoma's boyhood, his meeting with Katsura Kogoro, becoming a disciple of Katsu Kaishu, his talks with Saigo, his debates with Yuri Kimimasa, the Eight-Point Program, the restoration of imperial rule, the achievement of the Meiji Restoration, and finally, his assassination at the Omiya inn.

Some people say, 'That's just Ryotaro Shiba's fiction, Sakamoto Ryoma was just an arms dealer,' which makes me sad, but that's fine.

I love the Sakamoto Ryoma in 'Ryoma ga Yuku.'

The Ryoma in the story captivates everyone he meets. Combined with Ryotaro Shiba's solid research, the unique nature of the Bakumatsu period, and the charm of the characters, it is simply fascinating.

To quote a part of it,

Well, it's not very stylish to quote too much, so I won't write everything, but anyway, I read it with great enthusiasm.

I had been expelled from university, but the Ryoma in the novel always encouraged me. I received a message like, 'As a man, you must accomplish great things for the world.' I thought, 'I see, this is what my father wanted to tell me,' and I felt grateful to him. It's okay, I'll be okay, I was able to think that.

I read it while walking, even while looking for a room after running away from home, and even when I went to the public employment office to look for work. Once, an old lady on the street said to me, 'You like reading, you're like Ninomiya Sontoku, aren't you?' I just said, 'Heh heh.'

I only had up to volume 6 out of the 8 volumes, so I hurried to Book-Off. I was happy to find volumes 7 and 8, saying, 'Volume 7, 8... where are they, found them!' and went to meet Ryoma.

'If you're a man, read 'Ryoma ga Yuku'.'

I remember what my father told me.
I didn't read it when I was little. I didn't really understand it.
But I read it all. And I thought.

I want to be a person like this, too.

It doesn't mean I want to become some great historical figure like the Sakamoto Ryoma who appears in this novel. I'm not that kind of person. Rather, it's a book that makes me want to cherish things like 'ambition' and the 'mindset' one should have when interacting with others. It is safe to say that 'Ryoma ga Yuku' flows at the foundation of who I am today.

Let me say it loud and clear.

'Ryoma ga Yuku' is my bible.

I'm not the least bit embarrassed about that.

'Ryoma ga Yuku,' which my father received from a close friend.
I can well understand his desire to have his son read it.

Dad, I read it properly. Thank you.
I'm taking good care of it.

As a postscript, after I entered society, I visited Sakamoto Ryoma's grave in Kyoto and Katsurahama in Kochi Prefecture, his hometown. I went thinking, 'Maybe I can feel Ryoma's presence,' but honestly, I didn't feel anything.

I just said, 'Well, I came here, but there's nothing in particular. Yeah, I'll just eat some ice cream and go home.' I want to meet the Ryoma who is inside the book.

I think books wait for us until we are ready to read them. In the case of 'Ryoma ga Yuku,' I was 24.
And,

Sakamoto Ryoma died at the age of 31.
I, who am writing this, am also 31.
Before I knew it, I had reached the same age as Sakamoto Ryoma was back then.

Do I have a heart that loves humanity? Do I continue to hold values and perspectives different from others? Have I become a person who can see the big picture? Am I enjoying life itself?

Now that I have turned 31, the same age at which Ryoma died, I ask myself these questions.

Though I had completely forgotten the age at which Ryoma died.