📚253: Become Good at Small Talk Even If You're Shy! The Secrets of Habits and Mindsets for Getting Used to It
🟠 Prologue 🟠
- Introduction -
Hello, I'm Tochamin.
I usually read for about 30 minutes a day.
In doing so, I have condensed the things that touched my heart and the insights I learned
into tips for living!
I hope they are useful for your daily life too♪
This time,
it's about habits and mindsets for becoming good at small talk!
* Please also check out this article regarding the reasons I continue reading and what I learn (^^)!!
🟩 Reading Details 🟩
🟥 Learning ① 🟥
- Self-disclose in moderation -
If you don't talk about yourself at all and just keep asking questions, the other person will feel uneasy.
When you realize you've only been listening,
talk a little bit about yourself
and immediately pass the baton of conversation back to the other person.
It is natural for your own stories to spill out if you are listening to the other person with genuine interest.
Additionally, ways of self-disclosing such as "I often end up doing ~, does that ever happen to you?" are also effective.
🟦 Learning ② 🟦
- Mindset for small talk -
A person's personality doesn't change easily. You don't have to force yourself to aim for a social personality; as long as you acquire the techniques, small talk will go well. Even a shy introvert can acquire small talk skills.
What is needed is getting used to it.
✅️ Ask someone in the elevator with you, "What floor?"
✅️ Say "Thank you" to the staff at a convenience store or restaurant when leaving.
By speaking up casually in daily life like this,
you will develop the mental fortitude.
If you get used to these things, anyone can become good at small talk.
🟨 Learning ③ 🟨
- How to talk without making the other person anxious -
If you try to talk only after finding the punchline, you won't be able to move the conversation forward, and the mood will dampen. On the other hand, if you start talking without a plan, the conversation will wander, and you will struggle later.
To avoid such situations,
it is effective to declare it in advance
as follows.
✅️ "There's no real punchline, but..."
✅️ "This is a trivial story, but..."
✅️ "This is a story about -, but..."
etc.
By declaring it first, you can speak smoothly in a relaxed state. For the other person,
it is easier to listen with peace of mind
than being made to listen without knowing what the story is about.
At that time, avoid raising the bar by saying things like, "I have a funny story, so..."
🟣 Epilogue 🟣
- Summary of this session -
Through today's reading,
I learned about the habits and mindsets
needed to become a great conversationalist!
Do you ever find yourself only asking questions in small talk
and never sharing anything about yourself?
If you only listen,
the other person might feel like they are being interrogated
and feel uneasy.
When you listen with genuine interest,
it is natural for your own stories to spill out.
To prevent that from happening,
appropriately self-disclosing between topicsand passing the conversational baton
is important, isn't it?😊
And even if you are shy, conversational skills
can be acquired through technique and practice!
By making small daily interactions a habit,
like saying hello in the elevator
or saying "thank you" at a convenience store,
you can strengthen your mental state
and anyone can become great at small talk💡
Like saying, "There's no real punchline, but..."
declaring what you are going to talk about in advance.By doing that,
if both you and the other person can relax and interact,
doesn't it seem like the conversation would be more fun?✨
If you think,
"I'm shy and my relationships don't go well..."
or "I want to shine more as myself!"
why not incorporate these small talk habits and mindsets
into your daily life?
Next time preview
Next time,
it will be about the secrets of small talk
for conveying your feelings!
Highlights so far
[Summary 1]
[Summary 2]
[Summary 3]
[Summary 4]