[School Refusal/Depression] 6 Picture Books That Help Adults Relax [Part 22]

In this series, Things I Want Families of Those with Depression or School Refusal to Know, we share perspectives to help those struggling with various difficulties like depression or school refusal, as well as their families, find their own pace while managing feelings of impatience.

Up until the last installment, we covered heavy topics such as problems within the homes of 'good people,' over-interference, and harassment.

This time, I would like to change direction slightly and introduce some picture books that can serve as a catalyst for regaining kindness in your tired heart.

"I Love You Just the Way You Are"

When everything you do seems to go wrong.

There may not be many things that accept you so straightforwardly, saying, "It's okay just the way you are."

It's okay to be struggling. It's okay if things don't go well.
Even if you can't say what you're thinking, that's okay too.

Even so, it repeatedly tells you, "I love you."

It lets you know that you don't have to put a lid on your sad feelings, and
it gently helps you notice the loneliness hidden deep beneath your anger.

"You are wonderful for failing so many times"
"You are a good child even if you don't try so hard"

The experience of being told that definitively may be rarer than you think.

When reading it, rather than feeling accepted by someone else,
it feels like gently touching the soft parts within yourself.

And at the same time,
it is a book that makes you think, "I want to be the kind of person who can connect with others like this."

Both as a parent and as a therapist.

Sometimes, this book might reach someone more directly than repeating words.
Some people might feel that way.

When you are worried about raising children.
When you are wondering if it's okay to cut corners.

It might even be good to read it to yourself every night.

This is a picture book I want people who try too hard to pick up at least once.

After you finish reading it, you might be able to be just a little kinder to yourself.

"Give Me a Hug!"

When you feel strong anxiety or loneliness,
even if you tell yourself "it's okay" in your head, your feelings may not settle down easily.

What you need at times like that might be a "sense of security" that comes before words.

The illustrations are a bit unique, but

Whether things go well or they don't,
whether you feel lonely or frustrated.

No matter what, give a big hug!

Not just when things are good, but also when they aren't going well,
having someone who stays by your side regardless.

That becomes a greater support than you might think.

Even if you can't do it often,
try gently hugging them from the parent's side.

That kind of interaction becomes a foundation of security.

It might also be a chance for parents themselves to remember something they had forgotten.

People need that kind of connection.

For children, and for adults too.

The kind of connection where you can just be together and be held.

"If You're Hot, Just Take It Off"

Without realizing it,
we sometimes impose rules on ourselves, thinking "I must do this."

Even when you want to rest a little,
there are times when you keep moving, thinking "I have to keep trying."

I have to be proper.
I must not be a burden.
I must keep working hard.

This picture book gently loosens your perspective, asking,
"Don't you think you don't have to conform so much?"

Instead of "whether it's correct or not,"
it's okay to think about "whether it suits me right now."

Even though it says something very simple, just like the title,
it somehow makes you stop and think.

When you realize that "there is another way,"
it becomes a little easier to breathe.

It creates a space where you can think, "Maybe this is okay, too."

It's not about stopping your efforts,
but about finding a way to strive that suits you.

These are picture books that gently provide such an opportunity.

"The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse"

For when you suddenly stop and think,
"Is it okay to stay like this?"

Through the interactions with the mole, the fox, and the horse,
there is a feeling of being gently touched
by things you were holding onto without being able to put into words.

It doesn't give you an answer right away,
but it is a book that will quietly stay by your side.

"The Ghost in the Attic"

This is a picture book that might resonate
with people who like spending time alone.

A child starts coming every day to the attic
where a ghost had been living freely.

The ghost feels like their space is being taken away,
and tries to drive the child out, but it doesn't go well.

However, before they know it, they have promised to play with the child, and they realize they are feeling strangely excited.

Even with someone you initially think, "Why this person?",
the relationship can change before you know it.

Friends and life,
rather than being something you choose and create yourself,

might be things that, when you notice, gradually take shape through connections.

"Tamago Nii-chan" (Egg Brother)

This is a story from when I was going to read picture books
to a high school student who was hospitalized for an eating disorder.

When I asked that child,
"What kind of picture book would you like?"
"Is there a book you remember having read to you when you were small?"
this was the one they told me about.

It seems it was a book that left an impression on them.

Children with eating disorders often struggle to find rest even after being hospitalized.

Even though that child was barely getting any nutrition, they would stand by the bed and move their body in small, restless motions the entire time they were awake.

They were almost never able to lie down.

It started when a senior doctor said to me, "Let's try to get them to lie down in the most natural way possible. How about reading them a picture book?"

When I actually read one to them, the child said this:

"I don't really remember the content, but I feel a strong connection between my feelings and Tamago Nii-chan."

It took time after that, but they gradually became able to spend their time more calmly and were eventually discharged.

Even if you don't remember the content clearly, the "feelings you experienced" remain.

Perhaps it is a fortunate thing to have books like that.

It is a book that gently touches the loneliness inside those who cannot rest well.

♪ Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) (Billy Joel)

When you feel a bit restless at night. When you are overthinking things and cannot fall asleep.

Within the melody that speaks so gently, there is an unspoken sense of security that says, "It's going to be okay."

You can listen to it as if you are receiving the words you wanted someone to say to you, or

you can gently say, "It's going to be okay," to yourself.

At the end of a day where you have worked hard, use this as a time to let your guard down just a little bit.

It is a song that quietly helps your heart unwind.

If there is even one that you think, "I'd like to see that," I would be happy.

When things are tough, you don't have to force yourself to change.

I think it is enough if you can just have a moment where things feel a little softer.

Next time, I will talk about how people who keep trying hard because they "want to be understood"
can distance themselves to protect themselves.

In this note, I deliver articles that make you feel "a little relieved" or "lighter in heart"
regarding topics like depression, school non-attendance, parenting, parent-child relationships, and how to deal with negative emotions.
that kind of content.

If this article touched your heart,
I would be happy if you followed me. I will deliver the next article as well.

If you felt it was "worth reading",
I would be happy if you let me know by clicking the 'Like' button. It is very encouraging.

May the time you can spend without feeling rushed increase little by little.

▶Read this series in one place
#Things I want families of those with depression or school non-attendance to know

[Series List] (Individual articles can be viewed from the link above)

• Part 1: The "day they couldn't go" is a "beginning" for the family, and "the limit" for the person themselves

• Part 2: When you feel like they are "being lazy"

• Part 3: Getting the family itself in order

• Part 4: How to interact as a child moves toward independence -- Also for interacting with those with depression

• Part 5: To you who are tired of the "going/not going" every morning

• Part 6: How to spend the year-end and New Year holidays - What families can do to protect recovery

• Part 7: Irritability, insomnia, pain -- these might be signs of "fatigue"

• Part 8: Not entering a child's room -- Interaction that reduces the feeling of being watched

• Provisional Final Part, Part 1: A mindset for surviving this hell even a little bit happily -- Life and Mind edition

• Provisional Final Part, Part 2: A mindset for surviving this hell even a little bit happily -- Society and education for children and adults to live easily

• Part 9: Children grow precisely when parents feel it is "a waste of time"

• Part 10: Thinking about smartphone and game rules as a parent and child -- What is more important than "making them follow"

• Part 11: Not being able to follow rules is neither laziness nor rebellion -- There is a reason for "not being able to follow"

• Part 12: Why a 'Well-Behaved Child' Suddenly Becomes Unable to Move—The 'Invisible Fatigue' of Over-Adaptation

• Part 13: Why a 'Good Child' Tries Their Best Until They Reach Their Limit—What Lies Behind Over-Adaptation and Perfectionism

• Part 14: How to Interact with a 'Good Child' Who Has Tried Too Hard to Help Them Relax—7 Things Parents Can Do

• Part 15: 'Not Being Able to Try' Is Not Being Spoiled. Recovery Begins with 'Becoming Able to Rest'

• Part 16: 'I Felt a Little Better, But Then I Collapsed Again'—The 'Fluctuations' That Occur During the Recovery Phase

• Part 17: Why They Can't Rest Even When You Tell Them 'It's Okay to Rest'—'Anxiety Conveyed Through the Atmosphere'

• Part 18: How to Use Medication When You Can't Rest—Creating a 'State Where You Can Rest'

• Part 19: Why Can't You Rest?—A Story About Hospitalization That Reveals the Distance Between Parent and Child

• Part 20: Why Good People Get Irritated at Home

• Part 21: The Essence of Over-Interference and Harassment—Why Good People Suffer More

• Part 22: 6 Picture Books That Relax the Mind, Effective for Adults