Is it right to teach children to 'endure'?

This article is partially fictional.
Maybe.
But the atmosphere at the checkout counter is a true story.

*This article is based on my personal experience as a working stay-at-home dad.
Please make your own final decisions regarding investments and household finances.

At the supermarket checkout.

Bon was clutching a snack.

"I want this."

The price was a few hundred yen.
It wasn't an amount I couldn't afford.

But,
today was a 'no-buy day'.

Is 'be patient' the right answer?

I almost say it reflexively.

"Be patient today."

As a parent, it's correct.
There is a budget.
There are rules.

But, I suddenly wonder.

What am I teaching them by making them endure?

Endurance tends to become a virtue

I think that's especially true in Japan.

・Enduring when you want something
・Enduring when you want to say something
・Enduring when you want to do something

A 'good child' is,
usually good at enduring.

But is that,
really a strength?

Making them endure is for the parent's peace of mind

I'll be honest.

Part of the reason I want Bon to endure is,
the household budget.

But another part is,

a parent's fear that 'I don't want them to become a child who wants things without limit'.
In other words,

it's anxiety about the future.

Instead of enduring, let them choose

Recently, I've changed how I say it.

"Today, you can have either a snack or a juice, pick one."

Not a complete ban,
but giving them a choice.

It's not all or nothing.

Just by doing this,
the atmosphere changes a little.

Money talk also connects to this

Since I started investing,
I've come to think this way.

Even adults,
cannot have everything.

Therefore,
we choose.

Rather than endurance,
it's the power to set priorities.

This is what I want to teach.

The current answer from a father of four

'Endurance' is not bad.

But,
endurance without a reason,
just becomes repression.

If money is the reason,
explain it according to their age.

If rules are the reason,
be consistent.

I want to stop saying 'no' based on emotion.

My eldest daughter, my second daughter, Bon,
and my youngest daughter.

You can't have everything.

But,
you can have the power to choose.

Dad is,
still practicing too.

Maybe.


#ParentingTheater #WorkingStayAtHomeDad #DualIncome #FatherOfFour #ChildRearing #Endurance #MoneyEducation