Things I want you to read on days when you think, 'Why is my child...?' (Part 2)

In the first part, I wrote about the feelings of parents who compare their children to others and feel anxious, wondering, 'Will they be okay like this?'

I'm sure some of you read that while feeling, 'Wait, this might be about me.'

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The more you care about your child, the more you worry as a parent.

You want them to be able to do more things.

You want them to have fewer difficulties.

You want them to spend every day with a smile.

You want them to live a life where they can feel happy in the future.

All of those wishes are born from love.

That is precisely why days when things don't go as planned become painful.

Seeing what other children can do can sometimes make your heart ache.

'Why is it only my child...?'

There are days when you swallow those words and put on a smile.

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But please, do not forget.

In a child's growth, there is a time that belongs only to them.

There is a season that belongs only to them.

There is a story that belongs only to them.

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There are flowers that bloom when spring arrives.

There are flowers that bloom in the summer.

There are flowers that slowly gather strength until autumn.

None of these flowers are competing with anyone else.

They are simply taking the time they need and blooming at their own pace.

Children are the same.

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A place they couldn't enter yesterday, they were able to take one step into today.

A 'no' they couldn't say yesterday, they were able to convey in a small voice today.

A child who couldn't play with anyone was able to sit next to someone for a little while.

To those around them, these might seem like small events.

But for that child, it is a big step taken with all their courage.

The person who can spot that step from the closest distance is surely you, their father or mother.

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We tend to look for things they have 'become able to do'.

They can talk now.

They can do things alone now.

They can do things just like everyone else.

Of course, that is also wonderful growth.

But the truly important growth sometimes happens more quietly and more gently.

Finding someone they can feel safe with.

Finding something they like.

Being able to think they want to trust someone.

Smiling a little more.

Being able to say 'help me'.

All of these are proof of the journey that child has walked until today.

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So, if today you thought, 'I don't feel like they have grown at all,' please stop for a moment and look at your child's face.

Weren't they smiling by your side today?

Weren't they holding their favorite toy as if it were precious?

When they found you, didn't they show an expression of relief?

Each of those things, though hard to see, is certain growth.

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And there is one more thing I want to tell you.

That is, parents also have their own time.

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When raising children, you end up thinking, 'I have to become a better parent.'

A parent who doesn't get angry.

A parent who is always smiling.

A parent who knows everything.

If only I could become that kind of parent...

There are days when you wish for that.

But what children are looking for is not a perfect parent.

They want a parent who will worry with them when they are in trouble.

A parent who will laugh with them when they are happy.

A parent who will hug them and say, 'It's okay,' when they are sad.

Just by doing that, a 'place where they can feel safe' is created in the child's heart.

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So, please do not blame yourself either.

It is okay to be lost.

It is okay to stop.

It is okay to have days when you shed tears.

Raising children is not a journey to find the correct answer.

It is a time for parent and child to grow their own unique story together.

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Please try to find one thing they were able to do today.

The moment your child smiled.

The fact that they happily told you, 'I did it!'

A scene where you thought, 'That is so like them.'

Each one of those things becomes hope for tomorrow.

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It is okay not to rush.

It is okay not to compare.

It is okay to go slowly.

At your own pace.

And at your child's pace.

Every single step has its own meaning.

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Ken-sensei wants to be the 'person sitting next to' children whose development is a concern and their families who are doing their best every day.

I don't want to be someone who forces answers on you, but someone who can laugh with you, worry with you, and rejoice in small growth together.

That is my wish.

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So, it is okay not to carry it all alone.

The tears you have shed until today, the time you have spent worrying, and the love you have for your child will never be in vain.

I am sure that child is growing while receiving your love in ways that cannot be put into words.

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May your parenting be one where you look forward to tomorrow a little more than today.

It is okay not to rush.

You and your child are both moving forward just fine.🌿