[Parenting] My Son Who Loves Cute Things ~Reflecting on the Picture Book 'Pink is a Boy's Color'~

"Hey, Mom.
Is it okay for a boy to like 'Pretty Cure'?'"

My son asked me this one day.

"It's fine. It's okay for boys to like 'Pretty Cure' and for girls to like 'Kamen Rider'.
If you're embarrassed about your friends finding out, you don't have to tell them.
You can watch whatever you like at home."

That is how I answered.

I suppose there is an atmosphere among children that 'Pretty Cure is for girls to watch'.

My son, who enjoys it purely as a story rather than wanting to become a Pretty Cure or wanting the merchandise, seems to feel uncomfortable with that atmosphere.

***

My son loves cute things.
He loves stuffed animals, animals, and 'Sumikko Gurashi'.

When he was in nursery school, the handkerchiefs and masks he took to kindergarten were also 'Sumikko'.

But once he reached his final year of kindergarten, he seemed to become embarrassed about 'being someone who likes cute things', and started using 'Doraemon' and 'Pokemon' items. (Oh, he has liked Doraemon for a long time.)

***

He also likes the color pink, and when he was in nursery school, he said, 'I want a pink school bag!'
Regarding that, I was a bit hesitant.

I don't have any prejudice against colors.
I sometimes dress my son in pink clothes.

However, a school bag is a different story.
Since it's something he will use for six years, I thought he might eventually come to dislike pink.

As expected, when he reached his final year of kindergarten, he started saying, 'I want a black school bag'.

I think it's fine to be free with what you like.
However, it is our family policy to discuss things thoroughly between parent and child when it comes to items worn in public places like school (especially things used for a long time).

***

Also, I don't think you need to reveal everything about what you like.

If my son can say it proudly, he can say he likes 'Sumikko' or 'Pretty Cure',
but if he feels embarrassed or thinks he might be teased, I think it's fine to 'like them in secret'.
Just like Kazama-kun hides the fact that he likes 'Moe-P'. @Crayon Shin-chan

I didn't reveal everything I liked either, after all.
In fact, I lived my life hiding it.

I think it's sometimes necessary to find a compromise between your 'inner self' and 'outer self' like this.

***

While writing this article, I remembered a picture book called 'Pink is a Boy's Color'.

It's a story about how boys and girls can love any color, whether it's pink, blue, or anything else.

Although understanding of gender and respect for the individual are becoming more widespread in society,
children are honest, yet cruel, so they quickly turn anything they perceive as 'inappropriate for one's gender' into a 'target for teasing'.

(My son was once spotted by a friend wearing his 'Sumikko' watch, and was told, 'You're a boy, why are you wearing Sumikko?!'...)

That is why I am grateful for the existence of picture books that gently tell children, 'It's okay to like what you like, regardless of gender.'

***

It's fine to talk about what you like, and it's fine to keep it to yourself.

However, when you do share it,
I hope there is a foundation where people can say,
'That's who you are,' or
'I see, that's one way of thinking,' and accept it.

For my son, I want to be that 'foundation of acceptance,' and I would be happy if the world gradually became that way too.

I want my son to cherish both the things he loves and the feelings others have for the things they love.
Also, even if it's hard to understand everything about each other, I hope he can build relationships where people can meet halfway little by little.

***

This has been a long post, but thank you for reading until the end.

Come to think of it, I wrote an article like this last year.

My son loves 'School Ghost Stories' and still watches the DVD repeatedly.
He likes cute things, and he likes horror; that's the kind of boy he is.

He also goes along with my hobbies one way or another.
He watches 'Hangul! Navi' with me because I love Korea, and before I knew it, he had learned Korean; that's the kind of boy he is.

He is full of curiosity, a bit mischievous, but kind.
I love my son just the way he is.