The Day I Learned I Don't Have to Force Myself to Like Things

■ Why was I trying so hard to fit in?

In the past, I lived by prioritizing "fitting in with those around me" over "whether I actually liked something or not."

I would nod along to topics everyone else was excited about, and pretend to empathize even when I had no interest.

I felt embarrassed if I didn't know what was trending, so I forced myself to keep up with the information.

Even though my heart wasn't moved, I would just string words together saying, "That's interesting."

To avoid ruining the atmosphere of the moment.

To avoid standing out.

To avoid being thought of as strange.

That is how I quietly pushed my true feelings aside.

However, the more I tried to fit in, the more a sense of discomfort remained somewhere inside me.

After a conversation ended, I would feel completely exhausted.

When I was alone, I would feel a strange sense of emptiness.

I felt as if the "real me" hadn't been there at all.

Even so, I had convinced myself that "this is just how things are."

■ I thought I was cold-hearted for not being interested

I felt that being honest about things I wasn't interested in was somehow wrong.

I couldn't like the things everyone else liked.

My heart wouldn't stir at topics that everyone else was excited about.

Even in moments where those around me were moved, I remained quiet.

Looking at myself like that,

"Am I a cold person?"

"Do I lack empathy?"

"Is something missing in me?"

I would blame myself in my heart.

That is why I think I was trying so hard to force myself to like things.

Even if I don't understand, I pretend to understand.

Even if I'm not interested, I act as if I am.

Even if my heart isn't moved, I make it look like it is.

However, that slowly wore my heart down.

■ The more you try to force yourself to like something, the more tired your heart becomes

Striving to like things you have no interest in.

Forcing yourself to spend time on things you don't want to do.

Suppressing your true feelings and continuing to conform to those around you.

Even if each one is a small thing, when they pile up, your heart quietly grows tired.

Spending time on things you don't even like,

wasting energy on things you don't actually want,

and slowly drifting away from your true self.

And by the time you realize it,

I don't know what I used to like.

I can't remember what used to move my heart.

I am simply tired.

That was the state I had fallen into.

■ When I admitted I had no interest, my heart felt lighter

At one point, it suddenly occurred to me.

Maybe it's okay to just stay uninterested in the things I'm not interested in.

That thought was a little scary at first.

I worried I might stand out from those around me.

I worried I might be seen as a cold person.

However, when I honestly admitted it, something strange happened.

My heart felt lighter.

You don't have to force yourself to empathize.

You don't have to force yourself to like things.

You don't have to pretend to understand.

The moment I thought that, a sense of space opened up deep within my chest.

It felt as if a string that had been pulled tight for a long time had gently loosened.

■ Not being interested is not the same as being cold

Not being interested is by no means coldness.

It simply means your senses are working honestly.

It means your heart is trying to choose what is truly important.

If you tried to be interested in everything, your heart would lose its place of rest.

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.

There are things that move your heart, and things that leave it quiet.

I believe that is not a flaw, but a personality trait.

Rather, by admitting that you have no interest,

the things you truly love become clearer to see.

■ I became able to spend time on what I love

Since I stopped forcing myself to fit in, the way I spend my time has changed.

Reading the books I truly want to read.

Valuing the time that calms my heart.

Facing myself in a quiet place.

Looking at natural scenery,

savoring the casual moments of daily life,

and listening to my inner self.

By spending time on what my heart is drawn to,

the sense of fulfillment in my daily life has gradually increased.

Strangely enough, being honest with myself has made my relationships with others easier.

Don't force yourself to conform.

Don't force yourself to put on a facade.

You can just be yourself.

I believe that naturalness is what created a comfortable sense of distance.

■ You can live without forcing yourself to like everything

There are countless values, hobbies, and trends in this world.

You don't need to like everything.

You don't need to understand everything either.

Not forcing yourself to engage with things you aren't interested in

is also a way of cherishing yourself.

Rather than living a life where you keep ignoring your true feelings,

A way of life that respects your own feelings

will surely last longer.

You can live without forcing yourself to like things.

You can connect with people without forcing yourself to fit in.

And the more honest you are with yourself,

the more your heart will settle into a quiet, calm state.

■ From today, try living a little more honestly

If right now,

you feel guilty for "not being able to take an interest,"

I want you to try letting go of that feeling just a little.

It is okay to have things you cannot like.

It is okay to have things you cannot empathize with.

It is okay to have moments when your heart is not moved.

That is not because you are cold-hearted.

It is proof that your heart is working honestly.

You don't have to try to fit in with everything.

You don't have to try to like everything.

Instead,

the things you truly find important,

you can just quietly cherish them.

That day, I,

learned that "I don't have to force myself to like things,"

and life became a little easier.

And even now,

I continue to walk,

while cherishing what my heart is drawn to.

Thank you for reading this article up to this point.🙇