I wanted to be someone people called 'amazing' or 'wonderful'.

I am a former teacher.

I used to wear the suit of a 'teacher'.
Just being a teacher changes how the world sees you.

'It's amazing that you're a teacher, isn't it?'

And then, when I gave birth and became a mother,

'It must be so hard working full-time while being a mom, that's amazing!'

The suit of a 'teacher'
The suit of a 'working mom'

Just by wearing those, people would call me 'amazing', but
I didn't think of myself as 'amazing' at all.

If anything, I was the one watching myself fail every day.

As a teacher, because I had just returned from leave,
I had my workload adjusted so I wouldn't have to take on responsible tasks,
and I was just barely keeping up with the teachers who were working hard...

As a mom, I felt like I was only half-capable or even less,
things never went the way I wanted,
and I would end up taking my frustrations out on my 3-year-old and 1-year-old...

There were teachers of my generation who were working vibrantly while raising children.
They had a solid foundation in both their work and their parenting.

They weren't wavering like I was.

Being in the same space as such wonderful people
only made my feelings of inferiority grow...

Even so, I wanted to get even a little closer to those people,
and I made a conscious effort not to waver so that I could be like them.

But I couldn't become that,
in fact, I ended up collapsing.

I ended up having to take a leave of absence.

Everyone else is working wonderfully and vibrantly, so
what am I doing?

I felt pathetic, frustrated, and ashamed.

But I gradually began to understand.
(No, perhaps I had known it for a long time.)

Why can't I do it?

Why can't I live wonderfully?

It's because my 'self' hadn't grown.

I 'don't have a self'.

I can do what I'm told.
I can even manage to be creative within that.
So, the evaluation from those around me isn't bad.

Even though I had a vague sense of discomfort,
I had managed to get by until then without being driven into a corner.

But when I started balancing work and child-rearing,
I suddenly lost all breathing room,
and everything became filled with discomfort.

I ended up in a daily grind of being exhausted, constantly wavering because I had no sense of self.

It became necessary to make decisions based on my own framework,
rather than external ones.

But I was absolutely terrible at that.

Because I didn't know who 'I' was at all.

Moreover, in terms of the times,
the lifetime employment system can no longer be considered absolute,
and the ability to just do what you're told will be replaced by AI.

The power to carve out your own path,
the power to live by demonstrating your individuality, talent, and unique value that differs from others,
have started to be called necessary.

People who can freely choose their time and place
are increasing in their ways of living and working
(this also applies to how schools are chosen, doesn't it?)

Until now, everyone was the same, so maybe we could endure it,
but I started to feel uncomfortable with a life of just doing as I was told,
and I was pushed by the trend of becoming more and more free.

I think society will continue to head in that direction.

We are in a massive transitional period right now, aren't we?

Both in education and in the way we work,

choosing what suits you based on your own will

is a truly wonderful era, I think, but

what is absolutely essential for that is

Self-determination

The ability to choose for yourself, execute for yourself, and
not just leave things unfinished, but follow through on them yourself.

It really is just,
'yourself'.

It is 'yourself' to an exhausting degree. Haha

And yet, I am someone who 'has no self'.

What should I do?

This is based on my own experience, but

I thought I had no self, no core, and was empty and shallow, which is why I was swayed by those around me,

I held that kind of self-image, but

actually, it exists. It was there all along.

A core 'exists'.
Substance 'exists'.

It was a surprise on the level of a great discovery of the century.

The things I cannot compromise on, the things that do not waver,
were already inside me.

I was just convinced that I had no substance.

The reason I was able to dig that up from the roots was
undoubtedly

because I hit a dead end in life.

Because I was lost in life, I strongly wished to break free, and I knew myself that if I didn't face it properly here, I wouldn't be able to move forward.
I knew that myself.

That is why I was able to face myself
until I was satisfied and until I gained conviction.

And once I started living with 'myself' as the axis again, my life changed.

Doing this because I am a teacher,
doing that because I am a mother.

Instead of wearing a suit to become someone or something,

I choose and act with myself as the axis.

I even made my husband quit his job,
I moved to a new place,
I started a business and held events and courses,
and I ended up starting all sorts of things.

Even when my child stopped going to school, I didn't get discouraged,
and instead, I even took action to reform education using that as an opportunity.

I realize that this is what it means to live.

I feel like I hadn't been 'living' until now,
or rather, I hadn't been 'utilizing' myself.

I was just following the atmosphere and rails created by society,
and it didn't have to be 'me'.

Even though I am here as 'myself',
to think that I wasn't living as 'myself' or making the most of who I am.

What I can do and my potential for growth are even more amazing,
I can create more and more!

Because I lived my life shrinking away, I feel that so, so deeply.

The people I thought were amazing back then,
in the end, were people who were living as themselves and making the most of who they were.

That is what it means to shine brightly.

It's not about the outside, it's about the inside after all.

I always end up wanting to seek it on the outside.
The more I worry and feel lost about what to do,
the more I want to search for it on the outside.

But,

It is precisely when you worry that you have no core or no confidence
that it is important to look at what is inside you.

You do have a core,
and you have amazing power that you can be confident in.

I want you to grasp that quickly, develop it, unleash it,
and give yourself peace of mind.

And I want you to use that power to make the people around you, and many others, happy.

In this coming era, where there are no right answers and changes are rapid,
I share ways to have a strong core and let yourself soar
through my email newsletter.

For the sake of our children, we adults must show them that example!

https://my912p.com/p/r/mSxXZUZR