When unexplained fatigue hits, you are in the middle of a transformation.

Lately, I have been feeling a mysterious sense of fatigue.

It is not that work is particularly busy.
It is not that something bad happened in my private life either.
Yet, I feel somewhat empty and unable to move.

This kind of fatigue is the hardest to deal with.

If I could see the reason, I could handle it.
But because I cannot see it, I end up asking myself, 'What is wrong with me?'

The book I have been writing for some time is almost finished.

It has not been released yet.
But it is nearly complete.
Over a long period, I have been putting my experiences and what is inside me into words, one by one.

In that process, I realized my identity had changed.

As I wrote, the version of me that goes to the office every day started to feel like an 'actor playing the role of an office worker.'
I began to feel that the version of me writing the book was the real me.

But the office worker version of me is still here.
The author version of me has not yet been introduced to the world.

The old me is coming to an end, but the new me has not yet begun.

I am currently in a place that is neither one nor the other.

That is when I had a thought.

Do you know what happens inside a chrysalis?

Before a larva becomes a butterfly, it oncedissolves into a liquid state.
From the outside, it looks like nothing is happening.
But inside, it is using tremendous energy to rebuild everything.

I suspect that this is the true nature of that 'mysterious fatigue.'

When an identity is being rewritten, a person becomes a chrysalis.
It is the process of the old dissolving and becoming something new.
During that time, it may look like 'doing nothing' from the outside, but everything is being rebuilt on the inside.

That is why I am tired.
That is why I feel empty.

But I believe now that this is not 'something falling apart,' but rather 'the time before something begins.'

If you ask me if I am scared, I am not.

I feel it is a natural flow.
However, it is a fact that I am exhausted, and I feel that acknowledging that is what I need right now.

Do not resist.
But do not ignore the exhaustion either.
A chrysalis is simply there.
And that is fine.

Have you all had a period like this, too?

A time when an inexplicable emptiness comes, but when you look back later, you can think, 'That was just a part of the process of change.'

If you'd like, please tell me.

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