●It's serious, but not critical🤗
The day before yesterday, my father had an emergency admission following his regular checkup.
While I thought his reactions were a bit slow, we were waiting for the tests while having casual conversation like, "For lunch on the way back, should we have tonkatsu or hamburger steak? Which would you prefer?"
It started with "Please be admitted as you are," and as I listened to the explanation—seeing the CT scan showing his lungs were completely white, learning that there was a hole in his lung likely caused by emphysema from smoking when he was young, complications from pre-existing conditions, and talk of life-prolonging treatment—I was bewildered by the gravity of the situation and tears welled up.
I desperately held back so my father wouldn't notice, and although my eyes were moist, I was relieved that my mask hid my whole face. I explained it as if to make the pieces fit: "They say it's pneumonia and you'll be hospitalized for a month. You smoked when you were young, right? They said there's a hole in your lung... Just leave it to the doctors for a while and be a good patient."
My mother brought a change of clothes while he was getting an IV in the outpatient treatment room, we finished the admission procedures, moved to the hospital room, and I said, "Okay, I'll come back again^^"
...I left the room, walked out the front entrance of the hospital, and the moment I said, "Mom..." the tears came out...
From there, my mother and I kept repeating, "It's okay, it's okay. At 89, it's just healthy aging," but contrary to the words we used to convince each other, tears kept streaming down our faces. While choosing pajamas for his hospital stay at the Life store in front of the hospital, we kept laughing and crying, saying things like, "Gray is no good. He'll look like an old man," and "No, no, he is an old man..."
On the way, my younger sister and older sister called, and again, I kept repeating that it was okay while tears streamed down.
When I got home, I was completely exhausted, fell asleep, and woke up with my eyes swollen shut.
The next day, Saturday, whenever I let my guard down, tears would come before I could even think "I'm sad." I remembered the words of my great mentor in EQ, Yasuhiko Nakamura: "Emotions, like sweat, are a physiological phenomenon and a bodily reaction; it's impossible to stop them even if you try. Just as you deal with sweat by using a towel or a light jacket, you don't try to stop emotions, you deal with them."
■
That's right...
This is exactly the time to put my learning to use...
I'll visualize my emotions, thoughts, and actions with TFA cards and reframe the situation.
Instead of repeating pessimism and optimism and forcing a fake positivity, I will properly grasp the sadness, re-choose my thoughts and actions, and write out the doctor's explanation from scratch once more. This allows for an accurate grasp and sharing of the current situation, and I realize the fact that "it is serious, but not critical"🤗
Wonderfulーーーー
Wonderfulーーーー
It is serious, but I haven't been told it's critical!
I was quite shaken because there was talk of life-prolonging treatment, but that was just a necessary part of the confirmation process, and it is not equal to the situation itself^^
It was the Teranishi sisters, whose spirits were lifted all at once by that discovery^^
■
I'm glad I know my own emotional and thought habits-
I'm glad I know how to reframe things-
I will do my best to achieve my true wishes by not forcing optimism, but by carefully grasping my emotions and re-choosing my thoughts and actions🤗
And, I'll activate Life TOC for the first time in a while!
Life has been flowing smoothly for a while, so I haven't been conscious of Life TOC, but I'll do my best to show my true potential for the sake of rare value and everyone's smiles^^
■
Having said that...
I will be needing help from many people in many ways. I will also be causing trouble. And please, help me. Thank you very much in advance m(_ _)m