Is it strange to be 'different from others'?

Hello, I am Jenny, the author of the picture book 'We Are Family'.

In this article, I would like to write about the family and environment I grew up in, and what inspired me to create the picture book 'We Are Family,' which focuses on diverse families.

The family I grew up in

I have a Japanese mother, an American father, and an older brother who is five years my senior.
We are still a very close-knit family.

My mother was a full-time homemaker and always supported the lives of everyone in the family.
My father worked for a company with long hours and night shifts, but he spent
all the time he was home for the family.
When I was little, I thought my brother was an annoying guy who teased me, but
since becoming an adult, he is someone I can rely on, who is kind and whom I respect.

In this family, I was loved, never lacked money, and grew up healthy and happy.
Every time I look back as an adult, I think about how truly blessed I was.

The only thing that was different from those around me was my appearance.
Having a mixed heritage, whether in elementary, middle, or high school,
I was the only 'half-Japanese girl' in my grade who was obvious just by looking at me.

Different from others? The 'half' girl

My appearance was a little different from those around me. Just because of this one point, various things happen.

• Because I was 'half,' my mother's intention was for me to join a modeling agency at age 3.

• After becoming temporarily popular at the elementary school I transferred to in the fourth grade, I was ignored and treated differently because of my appearance.

• During a middle school uniform check, my naturally brown hair was pointed out, but then I was excused because I was 'half.'

• People I met for the first time would innocently ask me, 'Can you speak English?' A situation I have encountered at least 30 times in my life.

What if my appearance wasn't different from those around me? Would the same things have happened?

Through these experiences, I became accustomed to being 'different from others.'

In Japanese society, being 'different from others' can lead to being ostracized.
Conversely, because I was 'different from others' from the start, I was sometimes accepted even if I didn't meet expectations. Sometimes I was even treated specially.
Either way, I realized that being 'different from others' is perceived in a special way.

In Japan, it seems that being 'the same as everyone else' as much as possible makes others feel at ease, allowing one to live peacefully without 'the nail that sticks out being hammered down.'

Another 'difference from others'

When I was in middle school, I realized another 'difference from others.'

'I think I might like a girl in my class.'

What should I do?
I know that such people exist, but...
Could it be me? Aren't women supposed to like men?
I'm different from everyone else. I have to hide it.

In the novels, manga, dramas, movies, and television I saw, women who liked other women almost never appeared.
Even if they did appear, they were mocked, looked miserable, or had to give up on love... They never reached a happy ending.

As a result, I thought I would never be happy, and since I knew that being 'the same as everyone else' was peaceful, the first option that came to mind was to 'hide it'.
Because it's not something you can tell by looking, unlike being mixed-race, I even thought, 'I'm lucky it's easy to hide!'

For 10 years, I kept hiding the fact that I am a woman who loves women from my family, my friends, and even from myself. When social media began to spread and I could peek into other people's lives, a major turning point arrived for me.

I caught sight of a tweet reporting that two women had held a wedding ceremony, posted by an account of someone in Japan who publicly identifies as a woman who loves women.
There were two wedding dresses side by side, and both of them, as well as everyone around them, had such very, very happy expressions on their faces.

Oh, so even if you're a woman who loves women, you can be happy. It's okay for me to be happy, too.

I remember feeling incredibly relieved and becoming positive.
I stopped hiding it from my family and friends and came out as a woman who loves women.
My heart felt so light. I became able to be myself, and I felt sorry for myself, realizing that I had been suffering so much without even noticing it until now.

If only I hadn't had to hide it from the beginning...

A new family I chose for myself

As a result of becoming positive and searching for someone I wanted to live with, I met my current partner, Naru-chan.

When we decided to be together and talked about wanting to hold a wedding ceremony, I made a selfish request: 'I want to share it with everyone through YouTube.'

Just as I felt relieved, I wanted to share our happy image with someone in the next generation who might be struggling somewhere.

Naru-chan also sympathized with my wish, and we held our wedding ceremony via a live stream on YouTube.
We were truly warmly celebrated by both family and friends, and we spent the best day ever.

This photo of our newly expanded family is one of my favorites.

Why I make picture books

Although I am living very happily now, when I look back, I think that if I had grown up in a society that accepted diversity more, or if I had seen women living happily together sooner, I might have had fewer painful experiences, and I might have reached happiness sooner...

And every time I interact with a baby born to a close relative, or talk with Naru-chan about wanting to welcome and raise a child together, I feel strongly that I don't want the next generation of children to have the same experiences I did.

Naru-chan felt the same way, and while we were talking, we came up with the idea: why don't we make a picture book ourselves?

It might not be easy to change the way of thinking of adults who have lived in a Japanese society that values 'being the same as everyone else.' But what about children?
To create a society that accepts diversity as diversity, isn't it important for children to see diversity while their ways of thinking are still flexible?

Furthermore, if it's a picture book, it can also reach the eyes of the parent generation who read it to their children. Although the main message is for the children, if we could change the consciousness of the parent generation even a little at the same time, wouldn't we be able to get closer to a society that accepts diversity sooner?

I hope that the picture book 'We Are a Family,' which I created from this thought, will reach the eyes of many children.

To children who, like me when I was little, are confused by the differences between themselves and those around them.
To children who think it's strange when they see someone who is different from them.

Whether you have mixed roots or you've realized you're a woman who loves women, it's okay not to hide it. You don't have to try hard to be 'the same as everyone else.' It's okay to be yourself.

Because in this world, there are already so many diverse families.

Finally

Starting in late June, we plan to launch a crowdfunding campaign for the publication of the picture book 'We Are Family'.

We will also be updating information on the social media accounts below, so please be sure to check them out as well.

[Picture book 'We Are Family' account summary]

Twitter @ehon_kazokudesu
Instagram @kazokudesu_ehon
Facebook 'Picture book "We Are Family" Production Project' page