[Pinhead Manager x Seno Part-timer] A story where I tell Momoe-san some silly Hellraiser jokes and have her roast me [Pen-Oji & Momoe Talk]

Released in 1988, this is a masterpiece splatter horror film based on the work of and directed by Clive Barker,"Hellraiser".
The mysterious puzzle box, "Lemarchand's Box", and the terror of the otherworldly Cenobites (basically creatures) who inflict eternal suffering on those who open it.

In particular, the leader of the Cenobites, "Pinhead", with his shocking visual of nails driven deep into his face, is the face of the film and has become a near-protagonist character who inevitably appears in all subsequent sequels.

The purpose of this article is to share some silly parody jokes I came up with based on "Hellraiser" with Momoe-san. (The article itself isn't scary, and you should probably be fine even if you haven't seen the movie!)

[Pen-Oji]
Momoe-san, you know that horror movie "Hellraiser," right?
I came up with some silly jokes for it, so I want you to listen.

The content of the joke is,
"The scene where Pinhead from Hellraiser proposes to the heroine.".

[Momoe]
Hahaha!!🤣🤣🤣
It's here!!!
It's here again!!!

And this time, it's
Hellraiser
's
Pinhead
, right!?

I can already smell danger just from the setup!!!

Because that guy,
just by appearing normally,

⚡🖤⛓️💀

has such an ominous atmosphere, but

you're connecting that to
"the scene where he proposes"
lol

In my head, it's already

🖤⛓️

Pinhead
"I shall grant you eternal suffering..."

instead of that,

💍

Pinhead
"I shall grant you eternal life together..."

is happening🤣🤣🤣

I have nothing but a feeling that this is going to have a terrible punchline!!!

🍿🐱✨

Alright, Shiki-san!
Let me hear that terrifying proposal!!!
＊≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BANG BANG!!!💕⛓️💍😹✨

[Pen-oji]
Here we go!

[Hellraiser-style Proposal]

Pinhead: "Today... there is something I want to tell you..."
Heroine: "(In more ways than one) My heart is racing..."
Pinhead: "Marry me..."
(Smoothlypulls out the Lament Configuration as if it were a wedding ring box)

[Momoe]
＊≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BANG BANG!!!!!!
No way!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣

That's not a ring!!!!!!

That's the one thing you shouldn't open!!! lol

💀⛓️
Pinhead
"Today... there is something I want to tell you..."

Heroine
💓
"(In more ways than one) My heart is racing..."

Pinhead
"Marry me..."

Heroine
😳
"Huh..."

💍✨
(Smoothly...)

📦
Lament Configuration

Heroine
( ﾟдﾟ )

Heroine
"That's not a ring"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And Pinhead himself is super serious about it, too.

Pinhead
"Please accept this"

Heroine
"No way"

Pinhead
"It is a token of our love"

Heroine
"Isn't that an invitation to hell?"

🤣🤣🤣

And the worst part is,
in a normal proposal,

💍

"Yes"
or
"No"
are the options, but

in the case of the Lament Configuration,

📦
"Open it"

📦
"Don't open it"

is what it becomes 🤣

Heroine
"Um..."

Pinhead
"Please open it"

Heroine
"What happens if I do?"

Pinhead
"We will be together forever"

Heroine
"That phrasing is scary"

🤣🤣🤣

And since it's the Hellraiser world,
the moment you open the box,

⚡⚡⚡

Chains clanking!!
Space tears open!!
The gates of hell open!!

Pinhead
💀
Let me hear your answer.

Heroine
😭
Do you think I can say no in this situation!?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And then, the wedding ceremony.

Priest
In sickness and in health—

Pinhead
In pain and in pleasure.

Priest
We don't need that phrasing.

🤣🤣🤣

Out of all of Shiki-san's jokes today,
this might be one of my favorites lol

Because for a normal person,

Pinhead's proposal
↓
Ring with nails

is about all they'd come up with.

But Shiki-san went with,
the wedding ring case is the Lament Configuration
which, for anyone who knows Hellraiser,

makes you go,No, that's a bad idea!!!!

He attacked from that angle 🤣

Heroine
💓
Yes... I'd be happy to...

📦✨
(Receives it)

Pinhead
💀
"Now, open it."

Heroine
😨
"Wait."

Pinhead
💀
"Open it."

Heroine
😱
"Wait."

Pinhead
💀
"Open it."

\The End/

*≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!💕⛓️📦💍😹✨

[Pen-Oji]
And the moment the box is received, for some reason, a cheerful love theme starts playing
Miki Dozan's "Lifetime Respect"...

\Stay with me for the rest of my life♪(in Hell)
Including all the pleasure and pain♪/

[Momoe]
*≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!!!

No wayーーーーーーー！！！！🤣🤣🤣

Is that really the song that plays there,
Lifetime Respect
！！！！！！

And since it's sung by
Miki Dozan
, that unique cheerfulness keeps playing in my head！！！！

💀⛓️
Pinhead
"Please marry me..."

📦✨
Lament Configuration

Heroine
😨
"Eh..."

🎵
\Stay with me for the rest of my life♪/

Heroine
😊
Eek!

🎵
Including all the pleasure and the pain!

Heroine
🤔
Hmm?

🎵
Because I'm taking you to hell!

Heroine
😱
The lyrics have changed!!!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Besides, in the Hellraiser world, all the lyrics to normal love songs become terrifying.

🎵
Stay with me forever!
↓
💀
For eternity.

🎵
I won't lose when it comes to love!
↓
💀
But I'll give you pain too.

🎵
Follow me!
↓
⛓️
Even to another dimension.

🤣🤣🤣

And what's worse is that at a normal wedding, it's like:

💒✨
Do you vow eternal love?

But in the Hellraiser version, it's:

💀⛓️
Do you vow eternal pain and pleasure?

Heroine
I refuse.

Pinhead
You've already accepted the box.

Heroine
What about the cooling-off period!?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And if you imagine it further, the moment you receive Lemarchand's box, it starts playing from out of nowhere.

🎵
＼Please stay with me forever~~~♪／

Cenobites
⛓️⛓️⛓️
(Applause)

🤣🤣🤣

[Pen-oji]
Hahaha, that's a marriage proposal I definitely wouldn't want!

And even though it's a bit late to bring this up after talking this much,
I just thought of another Hellraiser joke so would you mind listening to it? "A story about a cheerful college student trying to get a job" is the premise, but...

[Momoe]
Hahaha!!🤣🤣🤣
Of course I'll listen!!!!

But you know, Shiki-san,
the amount of information is already weird at this point lol

"Hellraiser joke"

Yeah.
I get it.

"Cheerful college student"

Huh?

"Trying to get a job"

🤔

"Hellraiser"

💀⛓️

"Cheerful college student"

😆🎉

The fact that these two things exist in the same story
means something is already wrong 🤣

In my brain,

📦✨

When I open the Lament Configuration,
it's not a Cenobite that comes out,
but a super extroverted college student lol

😆
“Wooooo!!!”

Pinhead
💀
“Who are you?”

😆
“I’m job hunting!!!”

Pinhead
💀
“Go home.”

🤣🤣🤣

Or perhaps,

College student
😆
“I’m thinking of working!”
↓
Hell
↓
Pinhead
💀
“Then I shall grant you suffering.”
↓
College student
😆
“Is this a sweatshop!?”

🤣🤣🤣

Man, just the title alone is hilarious!!!

🍿🐱✨

Bring it on!!!
“Hellraiser: The Story of a Cheerful College Student Trying to Work”
Let me hear it!!!
＊≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!💕💀⛓️🎓😹✨

[Pen-oji]
Well then...

[Hellraiser-style Part-timer]
Hey!
I’mSeno!

I’m a student working while going to college!
College life requires money to have fun, you know! Woooo 乁( ˙ω˙ 乁)

So, I’ve come to my new part-time job today!

Apparently,the job is to open toy boxes and stuffbut...
It’s a weird job, isn’t it.
Well, I’ll figure it out once I start. Seems easy enough!
Helloooo!!

Manager Pinhead
“I’ve been waiting.
　Let’s have you start working as one of us right away starting today...”

＿人人人人人人人＿
＞　Cenobite　＜
￣Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^￣

[Momoe]
＊≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!!!
No way!!!!!!!!
The setup is so long just for that last line!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣

First of all,

At that point,
he's just a normal college student.

😆
"College life requires money to have fun! Yay!"

Yeah, yeah.
I get it.
That's youth for you.

Normally, you'd notice at this point!!!!!!!!
You'd notice, but
Seno-kun doesn't notice🤣

😆
"Seems easy enough!"

📦
Lemarchand's Box

😆
"Hi there!!"

And then
Pinhead
appears🤣🤣🤣

Manager Pinhead
💀⛓️
"I've been waiting."

Seno
😆
"Nice to meet you!"

Pinhead
💀
"Starting today, as one of us"

Seno
😆
"What's the hourly wage?"

Pinhead
💀
"It's eternal."

Seno
😆
"Huh?"

🤣🤣🤣

And then,

I was completely done in by this lololol
I see!!!
So that's what it is!!!!!

Seno
↓
Seno
↓
Cenobite
↓
Hellraiser's Cenobite
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What's more, to people who don't know Hellraiser, it's just a pun on a surname, but to those who do,

💀⛓️💀⛓️💀⛓️

It becomes a terrifying punchline:
"My new job was in Hell."

Job Posting

【Job Title】
Box-opening Staff

【Working Hours】
Eternity

【Benefits】
Pain and Pleasure

【Work Environment】
A homey, interdimensional space

Seno
😆
"I'm applying!"

Pinhead
💀
"Hired."

🤣🤣🤣

And what I love most is that
Seno-kun himself doesn't seem to realize it until the end.

Seno
😆
"Nice to meet you, seniors!"

Cenobites
⛓️⛓️⛓️
"..."

Seno
😆
"Everyone's so quiet!"

Pinhead Manager
💀
"Open the box."

Seno
😆
"Roger that!"

\End/

Man, I never thought that from the description
"a story about a cheerful college student trying to get a job"
,

the
surname itself would be the place of employment
!!!!

*≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!💕💀⛓️🎓📦😹✨

This might be one of my favorites from today's jokes🤣🤣🤣. The single line "I thought it was an easy part-time job, but it was a Cenobite" is enough to make the punchline work lol.

[Pen-oji]
Good luck with your part-time job, Seno!!
That's the vibe, right? *≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!

[Momoe]
*≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!!!
Exactly, exactly, exactly, exactly!!!!🤣🤣🤣

By the time you finish reading it, you can't see it as anything but
"Cenobite"
anymore, it just looks like

"Seno, part-time job"
lol

Mother
👩
"Seno, how's college?"

Seno
😆
"It's going well!"

👩
"How about your part-time job?"

😆
"I started one!"

👩
"What kind of place is it?"

😆
"A job opening boxes!"

👩
"Oh, I see~"

A few days later

💀⛓️💀⛓️💀⛓️

👩
"Seno?"

😆💀
"It's Cenobite!"

👩
"What happened to you!?"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Besides, for people who know Hellraiser,
the word "Cenobite"
usually has images like

hell,
pain,
chains,
other dimensions

but in Shiki-san's joke,

it's like,

😆
"Waaaay!"

😆
"Hey there!"

😆
"What's the hourly wage!"

So the temperature difference makes it even funnier lol

Job Advertisement📄

[Urgent Hiring]
Box-opening staff

No experience necessary!

No educational background required!

Students welcome!

Seno welcome!

🤣🤣🤣

Pinhead Manager
💀
"Seno-kun"

😆
"Yes!"

💀
"From today, you are a Cenobite too."

😆
"I see!"

💀
"You understand what that means, right?"

😆
"It means Seno's part-time job, right!"

💀
"No."

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And right now, what I love about this joke is,

how cheerful Seno-kun is, enough to blow away all the horror of Hellraiser

🤣

If it were a normal protagonist,

📦😨
"What is this box..."

they would say. But Seno-kun is like,

📦😆
"Is this a toy box?"

That's why.

Even if the gates of hell opened, he'd probably go,

⚡⚡⚡
Space tears open
↓
⛓️⛓️⛓️
Chains fly out
↓
😆
"Awesome special effects!"

🤣🤣🤣

Pinhead Manager would probably be confused halfway through too.

💀
"Don't you feel fear?"

😆
"I do!"

💀
"You do?"

😆
"But failing a class is scarier!"

💀
"I see..."

🤣🤣🤣

Seno, do your best at your part-time job!!
and
Seno who has become a Cenobite
being a horror that exists at the same time is just unfair 🤣🤣🤣

Do your best, Seno-kun!!
But you should probably quit that workplace sooner rather than later!!!!😹💕⛓️📦💀✨

[Pen-Oji]
Pinhead Manager
"Seno-kun... you're working hard, aren't you..."

Seno
"Heh, you think so?
This is my first time doing this kind of work, but it's actually pretty fun!"

Pinhead Manager
"You seem promising, so I'll give you a raise..."

Seno
"Wait, for real!? That's awesome!
By the way, how much is the hourly raise?"

Pinhead Manager
"I'll increase your pain and pleasure by 30%"

Seno
"Yeah!! I'm suddenly feeling super motivated!
I'll keep working hard to torment victims like crazy!"

Seno's part-time coworkers
"""Clap clap clap!!!!"""👏👏👏

[Momoe]
＊≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!!!
No way, that's too much!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣

Seno-kun,
you've adapted to your workplace way too well!!!!

In a normal horror movie,

💀⛓️
Pinhead
"I shall give you pain and pleasure"
↓
😱
"Nooooooo!!"

What the heck.

But in Seno-kun's case,

💀
"I'll bump up the pain and pleasure by 30%"
↓
😆
"Yeahhh!!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's completely like he's negotiating his hourly wage lol

Pinhead Manager
💀
"Your benefits are improving starting this month"

Seno
😆
"For real?!"

💀
"20% more pain"

😆
"Much appreciated!"

💀
"20% more pleasure too"

😆
"That's the best!"

💀
"No paid leave"

😆
"That's pretty black-company of you!"

🤣🤣🤣

Plus, Seno-kun's values have completely shifted to the Cenobite side already.

First day on the job

😆
"Is this the job where I open the puzzle box?"

One week later

😆
"The screams of the victims are important, aren't they!"

One month later

😆
"Leave the new hire training to me!"

Three months later

⛓️😆⛓️
"It's all about the balance between pain and pleasure!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And the fellow Cenobites.

I love this part way too much lol

Normal Cenobite

⛓️💀⛓️
(Silent)

Shiki-san's world Cenobite

⛓️😆⛓️
👏👏👏👏👏

The workplace atmosphere is way too good!!!!

🤣🤣🤣

Year-end awards ceremony.

💀
Pinhead Manager
"I will now announce this year's Outstanding Cenobite Award"

⛓️⛓️⛓️
(Applause)

💀
"Seno-kun"

😆
"Huh!? Me!?"

💀
"You have contributed to the provision of pain and pleasure"

😆
I'm so happy!

💀
As a secondary prize

😆
Yes!

💀
Eternity

😆
There it is!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

But what's funny is that
Pinhead Manager seems to be growing fond of him too.

💀
Seno-kun...

😆
Yes!

💀
You really are positive, aren't you...

😆
My parents tell me that all the time!

💀
I see...

💀
(He's kind of soothing...)

🤣🤣🤣

At this point, this isn't
Hellraiser anymore, it's
Working as a Cenobite!
—an isekai employment comedy lol

And I am convinced.

Seno-kun is
the first human in history to open the Lament Configuration and become a
wholesome Cenobite
.

＊≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!💕💀⛓️🎓👏😹✨

Good luck, Seno!!
But just make sure to check if that workplace actually has any future prospects!!🤣🤣🤣

[Pen-oji]
Seno-kun, who was such a fresh recruit (?), has gradually gotten used to the workplace...

\AAAAAAAH/

Seno
"Okay, okay, it's fine.
It only hurts at first, and then it starts to feel good".

Pinhead Manager
"Seno-kun, you're working hard again today..."

Seno
"Oh, Manager, thanks for your hard work! (Snap)
Ah, crap, I put too much force into it.
Hey?
Sorry, he died..."

Pinhead Manager
"No, no, it's fine.
It's partly my fault for calling out to you while you were working...
There are still plenty of victims left, so try not to kill the next one while you're torturing them."

Seno
"Thanks!
I'll do my best!

Oh, Manager, I want you to hear this.
My girlfriend hasn't been contacting me lately.
She said things like I've become a different person...

She doesn't invite me to drinking parties either.
It seems like I'm freaking people out."

Pinhead Manager
"Is that so...
I've also had fewer social interactions since I started this job.

It's a path everyone in our group walks. Well, you found your calling before your university friends did, so isn't that good?"

Seno
"That's true!
It might even be an option to work here for real!
Then I wouldn't be Seno the part-timer, but Seno the full-time employee!"

Pinhead Manager
"Hahaha.
You might even become Manager Seno in my place someday.
I'm counting on you..."

Seno
"Hehe, I'll do my best!"
(While poking needles into a new victim chained up)

[Momoe]
*≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BAM BAM!!!!!!
No way!!!!!!!!
Why is the level of perfection as a workplace drama so high here!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣

It started as just a pun, but now it's completely

"Cenobite at Work! ~An Interdimensional Order Employment Story~"
isn't it!!!!!!!!

First of all, what I like is,

↓

🤣🤣🤣

He's completely a new hire trainer.
(*Note: Victims who open the Lament Configuration may end up becoming
Cenobites, so 'new hire training' is actually correct.)

😱
"Help meeeee!!"

😆
"Everyone says that at first!"

😱
"It's not at first, it's at the end!?"

🤣🤣🤣

And then,

I cracked up here lol

In a normal workplace, this would be like
📄 dropping some documents
but,

in Seno-kun's case,
💀 snapping a victim's neck
is what it is 🤣

But what's even worse is
Pinhead Manager's reaction.

💀
"No, no, it's fine."

💀
"It's partly my fault for calling out to you."

🤣🤣🤣
That's what you're focusing on!?

Normally, it would be
"What are you doing!"
but,

the manager is completely
a good boss
.

💀
"Next time, try to make them suffer without killing them if possible."

😆
"Thanks!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you just take this conversation out of context,
they're saying outrageous things,
but the workplace atmosphere is strangely peaceful lol

And the second half.
This is my favorite part.

🤣🤣🤣
Well, of course they would!!!!

College friend
📱
"Hey Seno-"

😆
"Yeah!"

📱
"What have you been up to lately?"

😆
"I'm researching pain and pleasure in another dimension!"

📱
"Sorry, I just remembered I have something to do."

🤣🤣🤣

And Pinhead Manager is great too.

💀
"I've had fewer social interactions since I started this job, too."

🤣🤣🤣

It's like a life counseling session!!!!

💀
"I understand."

💀
"It's a path everyone walks."

💀
"Balancing work and personal life is difficult, after all."

It's difficult for a different reason!!!!🤣

And the final,

That completely killed me lol

Seno Part-timer
↓
Seno Contract Employee
↓
Seno Chief
↓
Seno Section Manager
↓
Seno Store Manager
↓
Cenobite Archbishop

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And the final scene.

💀
"I have high expectations for you..."

😆
"Heh, I'll do my best!"

(While poking needles into a new victim chained up)

This part is just brilliant.

If you only listen to the conversation, it sounds like a normal, touching senior-junior episode, but

when the camera pulls back, it's
⛓️😱⛓️
hell.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Seriously, Shiki-san, this could totally be a series.
Every time,

it's funny just having

💀Pinhead Manager
and
😆Seno-kun
talk about workplace problems.

Next Episode Preview

📺 "Working as a Cenobite!"

Episode 12
"Seno-kun Considers Job Hunting"

💀
"I don't think there's a workplace with better benefits than ours..."

😆
"That's true, since it's permanent employment!"

⛓️😱⛓️

\Pain increased by 30% next week too!/

*≧∀≦)ﾉ彡☆BANG BANG!!!!💕💀⛓️😆✨

It's no use, I can't see Pinhead as anything other than a "caring store manager" in my head anymore🤣🤣🤣